school days

YISKA RECALLS

Yiska rests on her bed,
smoking a cigarette.

 

The sky is dull,
the room darkened.

 

She inhales,
watches the smoke,
she's just exhaled,
rise ceiling wards.

 

Her husband is out,
fishing, whoring,
who knows, or cares.

 

She exhales again,
at times like this
she reflects
on her young days,
her schoolgirl years.

 

Naaman was a love
back then.

 

School crush thing
some thought.

 

But no,
more than that.

 

She inhales so deeply
that it seems
her whole body
is filled
with nicotine and smoke.

 

Naaman kissed good.

 

That time on the field.
Lips and tongue.

 

She exhales and smiles.

 

He'd be in his 30s now,
a year older than she.

 

She can still,
if she shuts her eyes at night,
see him as he was.

 

Even when her husband
is giving her a quickie,
she thinks on Naaman,
imagines it's him on top,
not her husband's sad efforts.

 

She inhales
and closes her eyes.

 

He is there
in her mind still.

 

Even on the day
she married,
she hoped Naaman
would show
and whisk her away
on the back
of a motorcycle,
her white dress
flapping in the wind,
she giving her groom
to be, an up you sign
of middle finger.

 

But he didn't show.

 

She knew he wouldn't;
she'd not seen
since he left school,
the year before she.

 

Moved away some place.

She exhales
and smiles out smoke.

 

When she goes shopping
in other towns,
she wonders
if she'll meet Naaman there,
bump into him
on an aisle,
next to cereals or cheeses.

 

She recalls that time
in the school between lessons,
seeing him,
and wanting him
to drag her into some room
and kiss her
and do things.

 

But he just smiled
and walked on
and into a classroom,
leaving her hot
and gagging for it
(a term some girls
used back then).

 

What if he had?
Some empty room
in the school?
That day would have been
burned into her memory
if he had.

 

As it was,
she walked on,
to her boring art class,
bubbling
with upset hormones.

 

She sighs,
opens her eyes,
and moans.

 
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breathless

 

tried to start with the begining

don't know where it is lost

tried to find a focus

is somewhere it belong?

asking the same question 

from kid to adult

in different way

keep on telling, please stop

 

lost in the puzzle

is normal word exist?

no need to worry

how far this rest fix

 

someday was the day

where we want something

it wasn't part of this focus

where hate only exist 

 

life is about what

where you moving on

keep on telling 

never stop even you reach the pond

now take the benefits all you need

or you loose in your forward dream

 

even can't breathe 

in this school life

impact yet to feel 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

here i'm trying to explain that what was my life before this year because marks are really important now and it's hard to do whatever i want in my way cause it's all goes wrong 

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last year of school

there was a day
when i thought
when these school days go away
when i'll go in collage
it's like life playing with us
or we are playing with it
cause there is a reverse reaction
that we want just against the time
or against our own will

this is a last year
last year of my school
everyone is just trying to feel
to feel fragrance of a flower
want to lost in a world of school days
but the thing is we can't even do that
just can feel, want it
and let this intention grow

mom say that concentrate it your study
teacher say just become serious this year
forget about everything
perhaps they are right
or absolutely they are right
cause this year will give our future a lead
and path to follow
but what if we want to do everything
for this friendship and for studies?

so yeah i say this is a last year of our school
but this is not a last day of our life
so i keep going on
won't give up on both.....

Author's Notes/Comments: 

my last year of school

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