DEATH OF A CHILD

10 years

10 years later and I am still trying to make since of all the emotions I feel,

Still trying my hardest to accpet God's will.

10 years later and I still hate November,

I still wish I could sleep from the end of October until December.

November always seems to comes way to fast,

And brings up all the hurt from the past.

10 years later and I still miss you

And I know even 10 years from now I

will miss you then too.

10 years later and I still see you in your brothers in the little things they do,

And I can't help but wonder if they are like you.

Sometimes it is still hard for be to believe that for 10 years you have been gone,

Some one once told me that God don't give you more than you can handle, but some times I can't help but wonder if they are wrong.

After 10 years of watching over us from above,

Do not think that my tears make me weak angel baby , they are mommy's liquid love.

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I can't

I scream your name out to the wind,

I know it will not bring you home agian.

You can't change the past,

You can't relive yesterday and make it last.

I can't walk up to heaven and bring you home,

I can't call you because heaven don't have any phones.

I can't rewind the tears I cry,

I still can't find the qnswers to the questions of why.

I still lay awake in the dark,

Wishing I could mend the pieces of my heart.

I wish I could tell you , if you only knew,

How much I still love and miss you

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ONLY GOD

ONLY GOD KNOWS THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION WHY

ONLY GOD COULD COUNT THE TEARS THAT I HAVE CRIED

ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY YOU COULD NOT STAY HERE

ONLY GOD KNOWS HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU ALL THESE YEARS

ONLY GOD UNDERSTANDS THIS MOTHERS HURT

ONLY GOD KNOW THAT I DIED TOO THE DAY WE LAID YOU IN THE DIRT

ONLY GOD KNOW HOW I HAVE UNFAIRLY TOOK THE BLAME

ONLY GOD UNDERSTAND A GRIEVING MOTHERS PAIN

ONLY GOD HOW BAD I WANTED YOU TO STAY

ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY IT HAD TO BE THIS WAY

ONLY GOD KNOWS ABOUT ALL THE HELL I HAVE BEEN THROUGH

ONLY GOD UNDERSTANDS HOW HARD IT IS TO WALK IN MY SHOES

ONLY GOD UNDERSTANDS HOW MUCH MY EMPTY ARMS HURT ME

ONLY GOD KNOWS HOW PROUD I AM TO SAY I AM AN ANGELS MOMMY

ONLY GOD KNOW ABOUT THE PAIN THAT WILL NEVER GO AWAY

ONLY GOD KNOWS HOW I HAVE THOUGHT OF YOU EVERY SINGLE DAY

ONLY GOD UNDERSTANDS HOW I HATE THAT WE ARE SO VERY FAR APART

ONLY GOD COULD KNOW HOW I HAVE MANAGED TO LIVE WITH MY BROKEN HEART

ONLY GOD KNOWS WHEN WE WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN

AND ONLY GOD UNDERSTANDS HOW I WILL LOVE AND MISS YOU UNTIL THEN

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9 YEARS AGO TODAY

9 YEARS AGO TODAY

9 years ago today my angel earned his wings and flew away,
And it still hurts the same as it did that day.
He came too early, he just couldn't wait,
I fought hard to keep him but in the end it was already too late,
It hurts to remember,
That cold November.
This time of year shakes me to the core,
It is a constant reminder you’re not here anymore.
I never thought things would end the way they did,
No mother ever thinks they will have to bury their kids.
This is not how it was supposed to be,
You were not supposed to leave me.
Houston you came and went before I was ready to let you go,
Losing you took a toll on me, more than anyone will never know.

I know that we are not promised forever,
Oh but how I wish we was,
And even though you not here your still a huge part of us.
There has not been a day in 9 years that you have not crossed my mind,
And your brothers talk about you all the time.
And it hurts so badly when they ask me why did you have to go,
And Houston how do I answer them?
When I still don't know?

I know that you are sitting on heavens tallest hill,
Watching down on me, I know that you always will.
I know some day we will be together again,
I just don’t know when.
But I know some day I will hold you again and tell you how much I have missed you,
Houston I hope you know how much I love you.
I know some day I will no longer cry tears,
And I will be able to make up, all these lost years........
Happy birthday my sweet baby boy,
You will always be one of my greatest joys.
© DANIELLE EITZMANN

Author's Notes/Comments: 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOUSTON JAEDAN MOMMY LOVES AND MISSES YOU

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