#childhood #past#friendship

Rockin Chair

On the way to the hill, those three boys walked down the gravel way, sharing a can of corn. Its so funny it stings my eyes, to truley realize what we lost. this laughter hurts, this knife in my stomach to much. If sorrow, then what after,  ive felt sorrow, agony would sympathize and debate. Friends, it doesnt say to well. I  thought we'd always be together, so i thought id give my kid one of  your names for his miiddle. You think someone died the way things are know. you two wont  speak, so none of us do.But i still have it, and i still smile about it. that future gone further from reality, then were the wild things are, my simple little wish that was so small, it would seem a miracle wasted. In me is a kings misery, who watches kingdom crumbles in front of his eyes, for this mediocre dream of mine.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i still call them brothers, i still love them. i still get caught in the moment and think, wishing. and if my blood thin then my strenth thin, and i may cry a little. These are two that iv'e lost, but wont forget. Sometimes the scar on my knee catches my attention.

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Imaginary Friend

Imaginary Love

eyes glazed over, you can see the universe reflected in them,
as she stares up at the sky in its darkest hour. 
Her dark blue eyes look almost black in the dark
The pattern of her dress getting lost in the grass. 
making out the shine of drying tears on her face.
Tried to think back to the moment when they first fell. 
There is no change in her heart beat, 
I know because I almost fall asleep to the beating nor does her breathing 
change as I feel every inhale and exhale as I rest my head on her chest.

As if reading my mind a soft voice breaks through the silence 
that's growing louder as morning approaches. 
"I'm happy," she said "so happy that all I can do is cry." 
I don't know what to say so I say nothing as I can feel my heart swell with love and pride. 
The shy, lonely girl I met years ago is now a lady, battle scarred and torn, heart damaged beyond repair, but so strong inside.

I hear her take a deep breath as we watch the first layer of the night 
change to a dark grey. 
The sand is about run out.
The clock is about to stop ticking. 
It's my turn to sigh deeply, inhaling the cool damp air
The faint smell of lavender from her hair.
I sit up and look at her still lying on the grass
eyes still closed. 
I slide closer to her and took one last long look 
at her to keep forever in my heart.

I can see her lips tremble and see her closed eyes shut a
little more tightly knowing she was trying to hold back more tears. 
"Don't cry beautiful, everything will be alright,
you'll see, after all memories last forever.
" I say as softly and sweetly as I could as I hold back my own pain.

This was the moment I love and also dread, 
knowing I had done my job and now had to say goodbye. 
Swallowing back my own tears and ignoring the 
familiar sting behind my eyelids and the 
burning that was slowly growing in my throat.

I let a few moments go by to allow myself to calm 
and collect strength. 
I look up at the sky and as I watch the first few rays of sunlight ignite the skies
I knew it was time. I took a deep breath and with all my strength 
I focus all my attention away from the tingling forming on my fingertips that was quickly spreading over my hands and arms.

When I look at her again she is already looking at me,
in that moment we smile softly as we curl into each other's 
arms and with all our strength we hold onto each other as tight as we can.

At the very last second I kiss her forehead knowing as our grip 
loosens she would open her eyes, and I wouldn't be there,
but in her memory I would always stay
and that is more than enough for me, 

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