# #body hate #suffering #depression #gender dysphoria #eating disorder #self harm

Consuming the Soul

The relentless beast

consuming the soul

 

Drawing the blood

out of the flesh

 

Stealing away the will,

obscuring the spirit

 

In quicksand, slowly

drowing, trying to escape

 

But eventually buried,

suffocated by time. 

Demons of Darkness

She stood on the bridge 
In silence and fear
For the demons of darkness
Had driven her here

They cut her heart 
Right out of her chest
Making her believe 
That the demons knew best 

They were always there
Sometimes just out of sight
Waiting in the background 
Till the time was right 

These demons were destructive 
Knocking down the life she knew 
Hating everything about her
She hated herself too

These demons can't be seen
But they're far from fairy tales 
They live inside your mind 
Their evilness prevails 

So on the bridge, she stood
About to end the fight
Then she stopped and thought
I'll fight them one more night

Dismorphed

First it starts off as a glance into the mirror...

Then:

...

Bulimia

...

Anemia

...

Dysthymia

...

Cyclothymia

...

Schizothymia.

 

Depression becomes an obsession, your life gets put into question, and you end up having a disfigured impression.

 

Appearance can be overwhelming, standards of image can consume your mind, and self-esteem can reach the lowest of points.

 

Dismorphed reflection, your reflection staring back at you...the mirror becomes a place of testimony to one's own self-image.

 

Forget the mirror, for the person that may appear in the mirror, is a marred image in your head that may not be clear.

 

...So glance into that very mirror... and hold no fear, 

 

Life has more to offer.

 

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What is Normal?

I wish I didn't have to exist,

life is fucking annoying 

 

All the bullshit you have to go

through just to carve out a "normal life"

 

They want you to be their "asset"

a deployable, employable slave

 

Someone to abuse for pay,

so you can go home and be miserable day after day

 

 

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Hate

I hate this fucking world

and life

 

I hate most ppl

and most of family

 

I hate my body,

I hate my face

 

I hate my exes,

I hate fakes

 

I hate idiots,

I hate the righteous

 

I hate everyone

and everyone hates me

 

 

Rotting

Rotting by myself

in the lonliness

 

Trying to recreate my

life

 

Rotting every day

more and more

 

Staring into space

looking for answers

 

Trying to break out of the mental 

spell

 

Trying to keep it together

 

Everyday rotting more

and more

Everyday is War

I never feel ok,

I never feel good

 

I'm always at war

with something

 

Always trying to change

something I don't like

 

There is never any peace;

every moment is tormenting

 

 

Aids of the Mind

Depression is aids of the mind;

a disease which has no cure

 

You are always doomed in your thoughts,

biased in the trurh

 

it is a storm which has no resolution;

the ground is always muddy and never dry's

 

 

Spiral

Spiral


I feel I am grasping,

At any and all,

In order to halt,

This tumbling fall,


I can not repent,

I can not forget,

I have no means to do drugs,


No way to escape,

I start to pace,

 

Is this the end of the race?


Author's Notes/Comments: 

I am falling...