# autism # pain # love # family


Eyes may mirror spectrums of light

That shimmer and shine throught darkest nights

Rods and cones help color the picture

Of the world and its mixture

Different lights show different perspectives

When observers become detectives

Pieces of puzzle fix together

Showing the world clearer forever

Inspiring and lighting infinite glows

Shining upon these humble souls

The eyes of heaven seen upon them

Showing the world who is human.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

For my son K.

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we are all different from each other

for the ones that are special were judged by our cover

those who judge know are life is tough

but continue to put us down as if what we deal with is not enough

does it pain you that much for us to be special

that you have to ridicule us and be disrespectful 

why cant we all live in a world of acceptance 

where we all can openly show our true essence 

learn who we are and what were all about

and make sure that no one feels left out

not because it benefits us overnight

but because accepting everyone and bringing the world together is right


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a ray of hope a shine of light

when can i rest and no longer have to fight

is there such a thing as a break or a resting night

my body feels like its breaking and it just might

everyone says its all for a reason and god knows whats best for me

and that this is all a part of his plan for me

can he or anything else help me towards finding my true destiny 

or will the nature of my life destroy the rest of me

standing on ground feels like standing on fire

the more i try to find water there is less of my life i can desire

i feel like there is nothing in the world anyone can offer me

all because im easily frustrated and i cant do anything properly 

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The First step

the way some of us look at life its either a happy or a scary place

easy to go through like an empty hall or seemingly impossible like an endless staircase

when an autism diagnosis happens to be a part of your case

what kind of things in life will it and others make you face 

they say that you dont know how you will do until you try 

if you lived through a life of a neurological difference how would you reply

one chance in our life in most cases is all we get 

and the best way to start is by making that first step

there are a lot of things out there that make you or break you

do you think autism would put you down or would it rightfully create you

some people are trying to get by and others are trying to get through

its best not to listen to all the bad things about it because most of it ain't true

sure its a hard thing to live with and it could make you question what did i do to deserve this

but we all should know by now that everything that life allows to happen has a purpose 

so lets say you get married and you have your first child 

you dont expect anything to crazy or anything to wild

but then all of a sudden everything changes overnight

your kid no longer seems to try new things and they cant sleep right

your little one goes from learning new things to not even being able to eat right

seeing your loved one struggle with there new life experience isnt a pretty sight

so the first thing you do is blame yourself saying where did i go wrong what didnt i do right

you might take the news hard like an open wound rubbed with salt

but you have to believe what happen to your child isnt your fault

i understand its not what you asked for and there's so many hard parts to it

i know what its like living with that challenge because i live through it

and having all of my experience this special life does require a lot of work to it

but i can gladly tell you that at the end of the day its all worth it

one day might be tough and it makes you not want to keep going you just refuse

but then after enough time and work you make that first step of progress and its huge

a part of life is about overcoming challenges thats a part of what we do it for

being able to prove everyone wrong and learning new things you thought you could never do before 

i feel like what we can all acomplish will one day change the course of history

because every day with a life of autism is one step closer to victory


My Brother

(27th june 2012)

My brother is like a hero.

And his name is amillio.

My brother is like no father.

He is like no other.

My brother is totally emo.

If someone does something bad to us.

He'll alway's fight for us.

My brother is someone to trust.

My brother and i are like the same.

But one thing is i hate the video games.

My brother is a great guy.

And one thing is he never lies.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I think that i have a great brother, some bbig brother's will bully you and stuffs but my brother is awesome.

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Wounds that won't heal

They say time heals, 

But it's done all but seal, 
The wounds not treated fester,
This is a disaster,
And yes I'm speaking Metaphorically,
So you can see, 
This is how I feel and how I deal,
With these emotions that are so unreal, 
So I wait for time to heal,
theses wound that wont seal.
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Will you see

I'm addicted your smile, 

But we haven't been a couple in such a long while, 
I can't get you out of my mind, 
It's like a snake that coils and binds,
I realize I need to get over you, 
So I might find someone new, 
But anytime I do, 
I think of you, 
I can't fall for another,
This causes me to suffer, 
Your the only one I have felt this way Toward, 
The fact you don't want me cuts deep like a sword,
My heart aches for you everyday, 
It's been year but my feelings don't decay, 
I wish you would see I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy,
I tell you so much my voice  Is raspy, 
What will it take to move on or have you want me, 
Will you ever see?
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Self forgiveness

Sometimes I find it hard to forgive myself inside,

Because I'm the reason you will not be my bride, 
I hurt you all those years ago,
And I think you never let it go,
What will it take to show I've aged, 
And my goals have rearranged, 
I know what I want in life and its you,
Just tell me what I need todo, 
So come with me, 
And together we will be, 
All so happy and free.
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As my bride

You know I want you as my bride, 

But u always just jilt me aside, 
I want to share my life, 
But you do not want the same my hearts hit by a knife, 
You heart belongs to another,
You call someone else lover, 
My hearts locked and you hold the key, 
I can't even get it returned to me,
If I knew you would say yes I would fall to one knee, 
And pronounce to the world your my bride to be.
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