addiction cutting rehab pain blood

Instrument Of Piece

Instrument Of Piece

I reach for the instrument just beyond my hand

To remove the pain that you should understand

Because you are the one who left it behind

I’ll tap every vain until all of it I do find

When you buried it you buried it way so deep

But I’ll dig and dig for it until it begins to seep

You could just tell me where you left it all

You should know since you left it as my pall

But it seems for your pleasure you hid the pain

You seem to love to search for my red stain

Finally I found it all but wait I found some more

One night I will go far enough to reach the pain core

Until then

Another night comes and another night goes

Another night the instrument strikes another blow

The Weave

The Weave

The red weaves its way down my trembling hand

Like rain drops streams down a windowpane

Unmistaken expectations never realized

Waiting for all of my hurt to drain

She sliced a piece of me as she passed by

Leaving a deep impression in my soul

She burned me and raked me over

Like an old piece of crushed coal

She left me like an empty shoreline

One piece of sand on top of another piece

The pain inside of me runs deeper

Than a never ending stretch of beach

Stormy waves crashing mercilessly

Upon the barren jagged rocks

Warping away the crags with pleasure

As my love for you everyone laughingly mocks

There will be no rainbow at the end of this rain

Only a dry river bed that lives no more

A shell of a forgotten love left behind

Never to be the same as before

Broken

Folder: 
PAin and HAte

Broken again Once again
Bleeding out Crying for you
See me now See the pain
You've broken me again
Once again i die in your arms
Stop fakeing you care
Your false love isn't helping me
Your lie isn't making me better
I'm bleeding out and you don't care
I don't care so neither should you
I'm dieing let me die stop your false love
Broken again Once again

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Rehab & Other Fictions

So once again I'm torn between
That thing I want, what I don't need
But just to be in ecstasy
It's worth it for that one release


And then I hear that voice again
Of guilt and shame and penitence
But I can't trade it for this pen
The only sense, this addiction


My lovely maid of blood and pain
Cures my brain, one harmless blade
Lets my life run from my veins
A habit I can't seem to tame


My skin is crawling, begging me
To just give in and let me bleed
Just hide it, they won't ever see
Temptation willing to believe


Three years, eight months, and fifteen days
But one more time, it's all the same

You know, you don't "recover"
They never make you better


Three years, eight months, and fifteen days
But one more time, it's all the same
Even with a fresh clean slate
A cutter's a cutter, all the same

Author's Notes/Comments: 

[November 22, 2011]

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