bright lights dim
my eyes
unfocused
as my vision
in nightfall
i seem not to
see the shadow
eaten by the rays
i lie looking up
the bulb of 240 watts
if i switch it off
to be engulfed
in clattered darkness
suspended into space
of nothingness
would i wake up
to be what i am
not?
My Dirty Laundry
A day of truth
unencumbered by
other's lies.
Offered to cleanse,
linty fabrications;
from within.
Desirable;
then I realize
I really,
don't want your truth
when I can't handle
my own.
I bought you a valentine,
It was simple and true,
It uncaged my heart,
I couldn’t give it to you,
For fear of rejection,
For fear of disgrace,
I’d pour out my heart,
As I looked in your face,
If it’s courage you want,
It can’t be found here,
For when you walk by,
My heart flutters with fear,
So here’s how it read,
I’ll let it all show,
I’ll write it all out,
I'll let it all go,
"I held her in my arms
I could hear her say
'All you have to do
is feel the music, and sway.'
She was so right
So alive, warm and near
I could feel the song slide
and resolve disappear
A beautiful Orchid
bringing more than pleasure in sight
Owning my thoughts
'Til I find solace in night"
T'was the night before christmas, and all through the world,
Not a person was thinking of this little girl.
She lives her life alone and so scared,
She's always been looking for someone who cared.
Tears soaked her pillows as she lay in bed,
While visions of suicide danced in her head.
With mom at her boyfriend's, and dad out of town,
Nobody would notice if she weren't around.
She got out of bed and made a slight clatter,
She went to the garage to look for a ladder.
She looked at the window, thoughts hit with a clash,
Thoughts of the things she could do with the glass.
The moon up above was lighting the sky,
She thought of what it must be like to die.
When what in her wondering eyes should appear,
She wiped at face as it filled with her tears.
The kids at her school played another mean trick,
And thinking about it was making her sick.
They followed her home, throwing rocks as the came,
While cussing and shouting and calling her name.
Fat, stupid, and ugly, a bitch and a slut,
The names didn't stop when till she slammed the door shut.
She ran down the stairs, and into a wall,
She fell to the ground, and curled into a ball.
She stayed in that place, alone, safe inside,
She stayed in that corner, she wept and she cried.
Her shirt and her blouse were completely soaked through,
Her sleeves and the carpet were wet with tears, too.
The ladder she found, she put up to the roof,
Life just became so hard, that's the truth.
They said she was ugly and short like an elf,
She knew they were right, she hated herself.
So hurt by the words that the other kids said,
Their mean little jokes made her wish she was dead.
Her thoughts were a blur as she went to her work,
Up onto the roof, and she turned with a jerk.
The ladder fell backwards, her only way down,
Too late to go back, or to turn around.
I may not be the perfect boy,
Not full of happy, bubbly, joy.
My messed up problems overgown,
So many faults I call my own.
My fights and pains are getting harder,
Can't blame my problems on my father.
These cuts and scrapes were all on me,
Nobody's fault that I can't see.
My life's been hard, been kinda tough,
But, can't complain, it's not that rough.
I'll still survive, ain't goin yet,
Still flippin coins, ain't lost this bet.
I toss my dice in with the best,
I live on top, I rule the rest.
I may not win my every fight,
But I'm on top again tonight.
So even though life's gettin colder,
I'm still the king of all high rollers.
-Lo Ruhamah