I hate you without reason,
I hate you without cause.
But I love you even more,
You make my heart pause.


Attention feeds my soul,
Your love is my goal.
I just wish that you were here,
With you pressed against my ear.



I’m not being fair,
But do you even care?
Just know that you are missed,
Forgive me for being pissed.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is pre-emptive to be honest, I haven't wronged ayone yet but I'm worried I might.

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Sorry, Mother Abyei

Sorry, Mother Abyei

Sorry mother Abyei,
If we have neglected you.

Sorry mother Abyei,
If we have deserted you.

Sorry mother Abyei,
If we are unable to protect you.

Oh mother Abyei,
We will restore to you.

Your honour,
All nine children of yours,
Will come back to you.

Abior, Mareng and Bongo,
Will come back to you.

Anyel, Man-nyuar and Achaak,
Will come back to you.

Diil, Achueng and Allei,
Will lay,
A new foundation for you.

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Next Season

For My Children

Julianna you are my dear
How I wish I was more near

I love you more than words can say
if I could only have this day

To tell you all the things I feel
so baby girl maybe you could heal

If I could only pause the times
and go back and erase my crimes

I wouldn't have to brush away your tears
and now console away from you all your fears

I know I've let you down
so please baby girl no longer frown

I know I've hurt you oh so much
You'll never know all the reasons and such

Yes, I know....Mommy was once sick
but Jehovah knows and he's who I pick

To save me from my darker side
one I feel I no longer have to hide

I'm praying you'll one day forgive me
and just be happy for me to be

The Mommy you've always deserved to have
I know I can do it just give me the chance

To prove to you that I am there
for you to lean on and be fair

Julianna you are my reason
to be better in the next season

To no longer numb when I'm in pain
to be there again and have it not all in vain

The lessons I've learned while I was in there
the sorrow I felt I almost could not bare

For having hurt you was not my plan
I've always wanted you to be my biggest fan

I promise you that from today
I will not hurt you in this way

Tomorrow I hope that you believe
that Mommy has come back never to leave

To always be the best I can be
for a daughter God's blessed to me

Author's Notes/Comments: 

My apology letter to my daughter for having received a DUI and spending time away from her while I was in jail.  I feel blessed to have had the time to read and study the Bibe because I've learned the true purpose God has for me and I now try daily to apply those principles to my life so I can be the mother she so deserves.

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