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The Orgy of Pigs & Donkeys & Elephants in Uncle Sam's Whorehouse

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21 November 2012 - 7:58pm
WolfLarsen
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The Orgy of Pigs & Donkeys & Elephants in Uncle Sam's Whorehouse
Part two of a musical by Wolf Larsen

Suddenly, terrorist bunny rabbits begin jumping out of the ceiling and jumping out of the floor and jumping out of the two giant toilets on stage, and the terrorist bunny rabbits all have methamphetamine-peanut-butter-laser-guns.

The entire horn section begins screEEAAam-ing!

The transvestite men and whores on stage all scream/sing out: "OH FUCK! IT'S THE TERRORIST BUNNY RABBITS OF AL-FRUITY LOOPS! OH FUCK FUCK FUCK! AND THEY HAVE THEIR METHAMPHETAMINE-PEANUT-BUTTER-LASER-GUNS!"

The entire horn section screEEAAams out all over again!
Then the harp begins playing softly & sympathetically...

The writer of the musical sitting at his desk on stage sings: "It's so flippity-floppity digging in my nose for the words of this musical! I feel like I've been climbing up into God's anus for some millennia now, and this phrase of poetry that jumps from plays into poems and then into novels and through screenplays is the world's longest nightmare that ever plagued a human being! Please God let me out of your anus! My nightmare never ends – it spreads for miles around..."

And that's when all the whores & transvestites & terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops all sing together: "The writer is so zoopadee! He's so ZOWEEEE! And sometimes he even hides his penis in a secret drawer at the FBI! Zippity-zowee-kamooey! But other times he just sticks his ear to the vagina of the First Lady, and he listens to all the congressional committees having their proceedings there! Oh muck! Oh schmuck! Oh fuck!"

The woodwinds play: "Oh mUck! Oh schmUck! Oh fUck!”

That's when the leader of the terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops sings out: "In the first lady's vagina you'll find the factory that produces all the predator drones that are killing & blasting & ka-booming left-&-right! In the First Lady's vagina you'll also find everything you ever lost in your younger years – all the marbles and bizarre childhood drawings and lost condoms!"

And all the other terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops sing out: "Our buttocks of theee, sweet land of Indian genociiiide, and the birth of the mushroom cloouud!"

And the leader of the terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops sings: "In the first lady's vagina you'll also find all the tanks & aircraft carriers you could ever want to eat! Yummy yummy! Tonguey – tonguey!"

And all the other terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops sing: "But What's in the President's Anus? What's in the president's anus? – "

The saxophone sings out: "The preeesident's anus! The preeesident's anus!"

Then the leader of the terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops sings: "Who cares what's in the president's anus? It's what's in my anus that counts! Because I’m Bob! I'm Bob – king of the terrorists! I'm the grand whimzee- zippy-daddy of all terrorists!"

The rest of the terrorist bunny rabbits sing: "He's Bob Bob Bob – Bob the terrorist! He's the best diarrhea that the Colonel Sanders ever tasted! He’s Bob Bob Bob – Bob the terrorist!"

A terrorist bunny rabbit jumps out from the rest and sings: "He's all the dead fish that a dog could fly with! He’s Bob Bob Bob – Bob the terrorist! He's the miracle of all the spaceships of radio land!"

The rest of the terrorist bunny rabbits sing: "He’s Bob Bob Bob – Bob the terrorist!"

Bob sings: "I've got more pubic hair than anyone else in the whooole Milky Way galaxy!"

All the whores sing: "He's the most fried streetcorner of all Pluto!"

All the transvestites sing: "He's the granny's panties of your television set!"

Copyright 2012 by Wolf Larsen

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30 November 2012 - 3:37pm
#1
WolfLarsen
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Part 3 of the Musical Uncle Sam's Whorehouse

The Orgy of Pigs, Elephants, & Donkeys in Uncle Sam's Whorehouse
Part Three
by Wolf Larsen

And the man with the herpes sore sings: "Nevermind all that! I've got a problem far more serious than terrorism!"

Bob cries/sings out: "More serious?! More serious?! What could be more serious?! I'm the King of terrorists! I'm Bob! King of the terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops! What could possibly be bigger than terrorism?!"

Herpes man sings with great drama in his deep baritone: "I've got a great big herpes sore on my lip!"

Everybody on stage sings out with great drama: "He's got a great big herpes sore on his lip!"

The horns all blast out: "He's got herpeees! He's got herpeees!"

That's when Samantha – Queen of the transvestites – sings out: "When you've got a herpes sore on your lip – Herpes! Herpes! – it seems all the telephones of the world are singing their herpes sores just for you! When you've got a herpes sore on your lip it seems like everybody’s face has 50 eyes all galloping at you at once!"

All the transvestites sing out: "When you got a herpes sore on your lip it's like you got 73 testicles all hanging from your lip! When you got a herpes sore on your mouth –"

Bob interrupts everybody by calling out: "BUT I'VE GOT DIARRHEA!!"
There's stunned silence for a moment...
Nobody knows what to do...

Everybody on stage sings out: "ZACKABOODLY! Bob the terrorist has diarrhea!!"

The horns & woodwinds all scream out: "ZACKABOODLY!"

Bob the bunny rabbit terrorist sings out: "When I have diarrhea I miss my mommmmmmy! When I have diarrhea I feel like both David Duke and Louis Farrakhan are giving speeches in my asshole at the same time!"

Everybody on stage sings: "Are the presidential candidates giving speeches in your asshole too?!"

That's when Samantha the Queen transvestite approaches Bob and tenderly touches his hand. As the harp plays the she-he sings tenderly: "I love all the zits on your face! They remind me of aircraft carriers & warplanes bringing peace & bombs to the rest of the world!"

Bob tenderly kisses the Queen transvestite’s hand. Bob sings sweetly along with the flute: "I love you like all the frozen TV dinners of my ancestors! When we are married we’ll kazapity-bop-bop-bop until Ronald Reagan sells drugs to Khomeini by importing arms from Nicaragua! I mean – whoops! When we get married Khomeini will sell Nicaragua to Ronald Reagan for drugs... No, wait! I think it's..."

Samantha the Queen transvestite sings: "Wasn't it Ronald Reagan selling the Nicaraguans Bedtime for Gonzo movies in exchange for Khomeini's buttocks? No... It was Mickey Mouse selling Khomeini's buttocks to Ronald Reagan in exchange for cocaine?"

The man with herpes sores sings: "I thought it was Jimmy Carter's lips being sold to Afghanistan where his lips were attached to the Taliban's ass in exchange for all the cocaine in Iran – I mean Nicaragua!"

Samantha the Queen transvestite sings: "It beats me! You never know what the CIA-Homeland National Security-Agency-of-Blam-Blam-Blam-Blow-Everybody-Up-&-Spy-on-Them is up to anyway!"

That's when suddenly a bunch of giant human-sized frogs begin hopping on stage and singing: "Kiss us and we’ll turn into the buttocks of all the princes that have ever lived! Kiss us and herpes sores will sprout up all over the trees in the magical forest! Kiss us and Richard Nixon will join you in bed tonight!"

The woodwinds all sing: "RichArd NixOn in bEd with yOu tOnight!"

Copyright 2012 by Wolf Larsen

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8 December 2012 - 3:26am
#2
WolfLarsen
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Uncle Sam's Whorehouse part four

The Orgy of Pigs & Donkeys & Elephants at Uncle Sam Whorehouse
a musical by Wolf Larsen

And then both the Democratic & Republican candidates for President crawl out of the two big toilets on stage. One of the presidential candidates is a big ass or donkey and the other is a fat elephant.

The writer announces from his desk: "It's time for the great debates! The great debates of hotdogs and brand-new Chevrolets are about to begin! Everybody please put fried chicken on top of your heads and attach your ears to your buttocks and listen and listen and listen!"

The saxophone screeches: "LiSten and liSten and liSten!"

The ass (donkey) steps up to the podium on the left and sings: "Long live the Party-of-Asses! Barack Obama is giving George ‘Segregation Forever’ Wallace a blowjob! Harry Truman is defecating nuclear bombs on Hiroshima & Nagasaki! And the Ku Klux Klan is riding in the night and implementing Dixiecrat policies all over the South! Long live the Party-of-Asses! Long live progressive Democratic politics!"

The big fat elephant on the podium on the right sings: "You know what good cop and bad cop is? (laughs).”
The piccolo laughs.

Then both the elephant and ass sing together: "We're good cop and bad cop!" (They laugh).
Both the clarinet & piccolo laugh together.

And the writer sings from his desk: "And now for the question & answer period."

The trumpet belches: "Bleeeeuuuurrrrggghhhhh!!"
The clarinet repeats: "Bleeeeuuuurrrrggghhhhh!!"

And now seated at a table are a rat and a skunk. They are both human-sized.

The skunk sings: "Hello audience! It's so Peking boo-bop to be here today! The sun is shining gloriously like the future mushroom clouds! Yippee to the future mushroom clouds! Anyway, I'm Mister Skunk from the liberal news channel! And I have a question for both candidates. My question is: If we pick the Vietnam War out of Uncle Sam's nose and we vomit the wars of Iraq & Afghanistan in the toilet like a fashion model – then should we wear Prada or Armani?"

The ass at the podium answers (singing): "Well that's a very zeeko-culo bing-ha ha whoopee kind of question! Yes it is! You see, we in the Party-of-Asses defeated Reconstruction! And can you believe the black people vote for us?! Yes they do! We put the Confederate flag on most of the state flags of the South. And still the black people vote for us! Whoop-de-do! I even had my derrière painted with the Confederate flag! Oh yes I did! It looks so wippity-dippity-do! This may be considered a zackidity-wackity contradiction, as I am officially black. But I'm a Party-of-Asses kind of man! YES YES YES!"

"Oh yes yes yes!” plays the piccolo.

The big fat elephant then sings: "Congratulations to you, my worthy Party-of-Asses opponent! And while I thought the question was quite zippityy good, I'd rather talk about socialist clouds invading the sky! This is very serious! Sockety-wockity-clock! You see, there's a plot involving Joseph Stalin, abortion activists, and the devil. Oh beepity-meepity ha ha ha! And this plot is to turn America into a socialist corn tortilla exporter of bonga-clones – bonga-hocka-moka! – with illegal Mexican immigrants pretending to be legitimate space aliens in order to steal our nation’s emergency supply of toilet paper. It's toilet paper I'm talking about! Serious serious serious! Now I know, that technically Joseph Stalin is dead, but you can never underestimate the massive international shortages of toilet paper that might result if ecologists are allowed to determine the laws of our great nation. That is why I have proposed legislation to outlaw all other religions except for my own. I personally talk to God every night, and God will help me improve the economy and give every unemployed American a job! God promised me so in a telephone call last night!"

And the audience sings: "Down with the environmentalists! More toilet paper! More toilet paper!"
The saxophone sings: "MoOore toOoilet papeeer! MoOore toOoilet papeeer!"

And the rat sings: "Hello! Hello! Hello! I'm Mrs. Rat of the right-wing news channel. Hello! Hello! Hello! I'm very concerned – like many Americans – about the homosexual conspiracy to zonk the clonk and doople-do the do! What are we going to do about the gay agenda of zonk the clonk and doople-do the schmipity-do? My question is: If homosexuals start adapting children won't the hair fall out of George Washington’s head?"

And that's when the big ass answers singing: "Oh say can you seeeee, by the dawn's early light, the flames of Wacko & Osage Avenue blessing our nation with progressive Democratic values? Sometimes, when the flames of Vietnam & Wacko & Osage Avenue are burning through my campaign speeches, I feel like scratching my hemorrhoids and that makes me feel very patriotic! I'm proud to be a hemorrhoid-scratching American! Of course, this has nothing to do with your question, which I don't feel like touching with a 10 foot pole –"

Copyright 2012 by Wolf Larsen

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15 December 2012 - 3:54am
#3
WolfLarsen
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part 5 of the orgy

The Orgy of Pigs & Elephants & Asses in Uncle Sam's Whorehouse
Part five of a musical by Wolf Larsen

Meanwhile, while the ass sings a group of striking workers & cops start having a melee on stage. The cops sing: "Oh how beautiful is the percussion of our nightsticks beating over your heads! BAM! BAM! BAM! This beautiful percussion is the sound of American democracy! OH WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! Can't you hear American democracy as our nightsticks beat over the strikers heads? OH SLAMMY WHAMMY BAM BAM BAM!"

Meanwhile, the horns are blasting and the drums are crashing and the violins & cellos & double basses are thrashing & thrashing about wildly.

Then, while the cops continue beating up the strikers with their nightsticks, a union bureaucrat gets up and sings: "See what beautiful music the cops make with their nightsticks? WHAM BAM! WHAM BAM! Your union dues helped elect the Party-of-Asses politician that made this all possible! WHAM-BAM-BAM-BAM! The big ass in office is the one that dispatched these cops to make such beautiful music with their nightsticks and your heads. –"

A striking worker screams out/sings as a billy club hits him: "I want more brands of deodorant to choose from at the supermarket! I want more free-market choices!"

The union bureaucrat continues singing: "Today we workers & cops are all brothers in the wonderful harmony between the liberal democratic bourgeoisie and the workers. –"

Another striking worker SCREAMS as a billy club hits her: "I demand more stock options and junk bonds with the childcare I can't afford!"

The union bureaucrat continues singing: "Just know that the liberal democratic bourgeoisie in their penthouses feel your pain as these billy clubs split open your heads! Today we congratulate our Party-of-Asses friends in office, and these brother police officers –"

Then the cops pull out cans of mace and begin shooting mace into the faces of the strikers. The workers SCREAM/SING out: "More potato chips! More extra strength laundry detergent!"

The union bureaucrat continues singing: "And that's why we need to elect more asses to office, so we can make more beautiful music like this wonderful harmony between brother workers & cops –"

The trumpet & clarinet screech out mockingly: "wOndeRfuL harmOny! MOre harmOny!"

And then the elephant at the podium begins singing: "Oh the evils of organized labor! So evil! Oh the evils of the minimum wage! So evil evil evil! Oh the evils of illegal immigrants that cause hurricanes to flood whole cities –"

The saxophone plays: "Sooo evil! Soooo evil!"
The flute & piccolo screech: "Mooore evil! Mooore evil!"
The saxophone plays: "Delicious evil! Yummy evil!"

Copyright 2012 by Wolf Larsen

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