I look upon these children and see them make mistakes
I recognize it, But it will be soon too late to forsake
I tried to warn them, resenting it will be our commonality
It'll be a shock when they grow up like when I saw reality
Nothing is ever given, you give and take what you've earned
You're making the decision and you choose to be burned
I'm a bystander watching you get abused by drugs
The drug game isn't as fun as you think just ask my buds
They're lying 6 feet deep, It'd be smart to use my wisdom
Next time you see your dealer, I'm saying refuse his blunt
Get your life together or you'll wish that your life was done
I use to be like you thinking I was cool smoking with my cousin
Look at me now, cleaning while I'm watching a reflection
You'll be out on the street, I guess we're all a collection
The guys are struggling and the girls are on planet whore
I'm a lucky one, but you won't listen to me, I'm just a janitor.
Future looking at the past
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5 November 2012 - 12:25am
14 November 2012 - 11:34am
#1
There is a noticeable shift
There is a noticeable shift in the poem in the place were it goes from talking about family to drugs. I feel like there should be something to sag-way it a little more. Other then that Pretty good.
5 November 2012 - 3:08pm
#2
Just curious if you are a
Just curious if you are a rapper. The flow to me suggests more rap than poem, a great place to throw this up for critique when you're ready is the Prose room.
9 November 2012 - 1:46am
#3
Yes I am! I'm glad you notice
Yes I am! I'm glad you notice that in the style. But I don't care about the topics mainstream hip hop is talking about. I like to listen to I guess old school topics. And thank you!
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