Critique me please

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Climanyal's picture
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Joined: 2012/10/02

Where Am I?
As I walk through the constricting walls of the open world
With a broken heart and a heavy conscience
With a troubled past and a daunting future
Every day a burden; every thought a weight
As I walk through this life; a meaningless soul
A Jester on the outside; dying on the inside
The layers of doubt
The feelings of self pity
The sorrow I feel
They say the sun will rise
But I have been in the darkness so long
Would I recognize it?

owlcrkbrg's picture
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Joined: 2000/08/12
My honest Critique:

This is one big cliche.

"There is no good writing, only good editing."