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Undecided
Water stains on my page
From the thunderstorm yesterday
I'm trying to let the pain go
But it just won't go away
Our weather has been less sunshine
And more rainy days
And right now I just can't help feeling defeated
By your cheating
This emotional beating
And it surprises me that after everything you've done
I couldn't just break us off and run
But it always comes back to you
Lauryn Hill said "I keep letting you back in
how can I explain myself? As painful as this thing has been I just can't be with no one else"
And that is how I feel
I keep giving you second chances and thirds
When you really don't deserve them
I'm not acting like I'm perfect because I make mistakes
But if I cheated I couldn't look into your eyes with a straight face and smile and LIE...
And that is exactly what you did
After me asking repeatedly did you do this?
How could you say you love me so much
How could I be number one
If you always treat me like I'm in last place?
How could you say I'm the only one you want to be with?
And then lie to my face?
How could you remain silent when you hear me calling your name?
I give you all the blame!
How could you let her kiss your lips?
There my lips! I feel so betrayed
And if I let you back in
You might still be the same
Although you said you've changed
And that is why I'm so scared, scarred, and afraid
You make me feel insecure
Like I'm not good enough
Which is why you stray
As you continue to lie to me
I feel like I'm a victim of my own stupidity
Freely Flowing through this battle
And my friends want to beat you up for hurting me
And I can't tell them even though you did this
You still mean the world to me
I'm torn between love and hate
But for my own sanity
It is a dangerous place
Because one minute I'm dealing with THIS
And at another moment
I want to completely give up on love
And then agian
When it hurts so bad
How could it still feel so good?
I have to distinguish between what I should do, what I want to do and, what I could
So suppose next week sometime I am crazy enough to forgive and forget?
Will your actions bring me to think of it as another regret?
I'm just tired of the drama!
I'm just tired of the stress!
I'm just tired of feeling this heartache; this burning in my chest!
I am confused and torn insecure and bruised
My friends say I need to leave you alone
And you hate them for telling me what to do
But I still can't make a desicion.
I am undecided.
