Sad

Halloween: time: 1:21pm.

I was walking in Goshen on the day of Halloween, and I remembered you so vividly.

I couldn’t help but feel us not being together was a mistake.

I couldn’t help feeling this way.

So I  had Barack Obama’s slogan on my mind: Change!

The word you’ve tried to convince me about so often.

Convince me that you’ve changed.

But then you didn’t care anymore, and I’m sitting here like why do I still love you?

Why do I still miss you? When was the last time we got along?

When was the last time you treated me with respect?

I am just hanging here like string from your words ready to be wrapped up in whatever you have to say that might sound nice.

I am sad inside, because the idea of love, is so welcoming, if the idea is projected correctly.

But the love we HAD, is rotten and ruined, burned, and decayed.

I don’t know why I keep holding on to the idea that it will ever be the same, just to hurt myself on the way.

I have to come to the conclusion that you are an asshole, and you will not change. You aren’t the person I used to love although, I’ve spent time in deep thought imagining you would change for me.

But it’s like you hate me. You look on me as a pathetic child, you want to walk all over me. I can’t let you anymore, I might break, my heart is so fragile after everything we’ve been through. After everything we’ve said to each other.

And I feel depressed. I wish you would have left me alone in 2005, so that I wouldn’t be trippin over you now. Love, Heartbreak, one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through, and I wish I didn’t.

Every time I think I’m over you, you bother me, or my mind becomes fixed on you.

I’m so sad I don’t know what to do. It’s been four months. I’m still not over you.






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