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Sad
Halloween: time: 1:21pm.
I was walking in Goshen on the day of Halloween, and I remembered you so vividly.
I couldn’t help but feel us not being together was a mistake.
I couldn’t help feeling this way.
So I had Barack Obama’s slogan on my mind: Change!
The word you’ve tried to convince me about so often.
Convince me that you’ve changed.
But then you didn’t care anymore, and I’m sitting here like why do I still love you?
Why do I still miss you? When was the last time we got along?
When was the last time you treated me with respect?
I am just hanging here like string from your words ready to be wrapped up in whatever you have to say that might sound nice.
I am sad inside, because the idea of love, is so welcoming, if the idea is projected correctly.
But the love we HAD, is rotten and ruined, burned, and decayed.
I don’t know why I keep holding on to the idea that it will ever be the same, just to hurt myself on the way.
I have to come to the conclusion that you are an asshole, and you will not change. You aren’t the person I used to love although, I’ve spent time in deep thought imagining you would change for me.
But it’s like you hate me. You look on me as a pathetic child, you want to walk all over me. I can’t let you anymore, I might break, my heart is so fragile after everything we’ve been through. After everything we’ve said to each other.
And I feel depressed. I wish you would have left me alone in 2005, so that I wouldn’t be trippin over you now. Love, Heartbreak, one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through, and I wish I didn’t.
Every time I think I’m over you, you bother me, or my mind becomes fixed on you.
I’m so sad I don’t know what to do. It’s been four months. I’m still not over you.
