Search my mind, listen to my heart as it beats,
trying to remind myself it'll be alright.

Where am I now I wonder,
I recognize where I've been.

Down there is the way that leads to pain,
the wounds start to bleed again.

Down that way is where I tried to believe,
I tried to be tough and strong,
it wasn't enough, it went on for too long.

To the left stalks avoided reminders,
more demons, they wait in every direction.

Each road is paved with bitter lies,
words unsaid, more masks and places to hide.

I stand squarely in the middle,
between one truth and the rest,
day has gone, dawn is too far away.

Crossroads of confusion,
determining where I'm bound.

Each year brings change,
what will this one have to show,
I'm not sure I want to know.

Do I mean something to you,
do I really care?

Eyes are the windows to the soul,
no one ever said what happens when they're too old.

The red queen doesn't know I'm here,
the fact fills me with regret instead of fear.

I'm out of time, out of place,
the image in my reflection is not my face.

Lost in solitude, whispers to occupy a madness filled mind,
anything to distract from the uncertainty when I look around.

I feel alone in a barren wasteland,
those who said they'd be there are gone,
ashes in my hand.

Love waits for me to choose, mirror image of what I mourn,
I wish I could be as sure of the future,
all I see is dark clouds, a storm above.

They said they'd return,
so I wait, for some sign, some warning,
something more than I've ever gotten this far.

Secrets whispered in darkness,
questions never answered,
but it weakens me to see that this is a never ending fight,
it's just another night.

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MatthewWayne's picture

wow, This truly deserves

wow, This truly deserves another reread when I am not so out of it.... I must point out one thing, it is truly captivating!! hobby or not Never stop writting...

"I am my own sort of strange, a supernova of madness and brillance. Forced to share the same space and time. Sane enough to not be seen, yet not crazy enough to be heard." -- Matthew Wayne