Painful

Painful,
I asked you to come and help,
In fear of what could happen,
Needless to say,
If I could see the future,
I would of gone by myself,
As I watched you fall,
It was almost in slow motion,
Fear and adrenaline rushing though my veins,
Knowing I had to make sure you were okay,
You are my everything,
My hurt and pain from the day,
Meant nothing the second you went down,
Rushing over to you,
Knowing something serious happened before my own eyes,
Rolling you over to see,
Your beautiful face destroyed,
Asking if you were okay,
Knowing very well you were not,
I did all in my power,
To help you that day,
If I could take that from you,
And put it on me,
I still would,
You have been through so much,
And care about others way more than most see,
It makes me realize,
How much you truly mean to me,
Arriving at the hospital,
In fear of the unknown,
It was reassuring,
Having your best friend there,
As you laid there,
Life less on the stretcher,
I couldn't contain,
The emotions inside,
Finding out all that had to be done,
To make you whole again,
Stabbed my broken heart,
As I felt it was all my fault,
Wishing I could protect you from all the bad in the world,
You have tried to do that for me,
And you deserve someone who will do it for you,
As the days passed by,
In my eyes you were not getting better,
I remember every minute of every day,
As if it were yesterday,
Seeing you weak and not able to be you,
Is not how a daughter should have to see their mom,
I know that you brought me in this world,
And you are supposed to go before me,
But I'm not ready for that day to come,
My wish for you is that you have a full recovery,
And feel beautiful again,
Although its an outer appearance,
And I know the inner beauty you have,
I can only imagine how you feel when looking in the mirror everyday,
I will always be here,
No matter how many miles are between us,
As I know if it were me that day,
You would of done the same,
You are my world,
And I wouldn't change it for anything,
I love you,
Painful.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Still rough & difficult to compose the thoughts together, but I totally wanted to get out some of the things that have crossed my mind. <3

View xxchachaxx's Full Portfolio
burkej1h's picture

this is lovely

a gift to the reader who finds meaning in it -- i started crying again about 17 lines into this, it's beautiful --- i don't know what else to say -- jb