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Every light on
Every light turned on
100 watts in each socket
Trying to rid myself
Of this black cloud over me
Deserving as it may be
It's to much by myself
Over powering
Never releasing its grip
A steady stream of pain
Dead end streets
Holding back tears
Confidence stealing
24/7 reminding me of regrets
I can't change
So close to the end of hope
Thinking going blackface
And rob Zimmerman
Be sucicide by a racist
can't believe I want out
Of this thing I use to love
robbed myself
Stole my smile
Tied myself up
And put me in da passenger seat
Drove so far out
That if i turn around now
would still take 53 years
To find a way back
Maybe find Stan
Give him the keys
Have me swimming with his ex
Cause I ain't worth
The worry , stress , pain and tears
I cause others
Pray some nights
my loved ones would just forget me
no memory of me
Instead of him
Should've been me
Countless times got drunk thinking of that
Then had 8 more
Cussing the world over losing him
And to the reader of this
Believe me
These words ain't for a pity party
A poor me speech
Look what I been through bullshit
It's a honest confession to the world
I fucked up me by myself
While knowing it as I'm doing it
Now To weak to relearn how to live ,love , or give again
Fuck I can't find the want for another breathe
Hard to go on
After losing yourself
Hard to show face
Knowing next time I show face
Judgement already been made
Hard to feel respected
When you forgot to respect within
Hard to think about memories from yesterday
While looking in a mirror seeing myself today
Useless waste
A shell
a what could've been
No goals
No dreams
No hard dick for master baiting
No money for a whore to give me a hand
Maybe it's time to start turning out these lights
Say my silent goodbyes
Maybe I am bipolar but
I don't give a fuck
Maybe an asshole
But I don't give a fuck
But Maybe this is what started it all
People trying figure me out
Trying to label me
And you know what
I don't give a fuck
I'm not white , Christian, a wigger, atheist, good or bad guy, nor gay , bi or straight , hetro or metro , tall , obese , a dick or pussy ,
I'm taking it all in
Without thinking I have to make excuse for me to be just me
Because you know what
I don't give a fuck
Thanks
for an honest write
good for your soul
CkK
Poetry is passion,imagination & soul mixing together....
Words
I have felt and experienced
I have felt and experienced alot of what you write. I feel you. Thank you for being so open to express it. this is very inspiring and raw. Always remember this is a moment in the sea of eternity this too shall pass. Thank you for sharing.