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THE BALLAD OF KEN
THE BALLAD OF KEN
(T. Beechey)
There once lived a man named Ken and he was truly a man among men
He stood six foot three, not an ounce of fat and he always wore a black top hat
He was solid as stone, strong as an ox, with big blue eyes and flowing blond locks
But he wouldn't even hurt a gnat and he always wore a black top hat
Ken always wore a black top hat
HIgh atop his head is where it sat
All the ladies stopped to sigh whenever Ken came passing by
They'd never seen a man like that and they really loved his black top hat
One by one, they all would swoon. "I hope he's comin' back real soon
"So I can touch every pec and lat and catch a glimpse of his black top hat!"
Ken always wore a black top hat
Ever since he'd been in that college frat
All the men were driven mad by the jealousy that each one had
"Let's do him in,that no-good rat! Him and his ol' black top hat!"
One night,Ken was leaving the bar, some men drove by in a car
One of them swung a baseball bat, knocked off Ken's black top hat
Ken always wore a black top hat
That's cause he was a real cool cat
Ken whirled around. "Look what you've done!" Another man pulled out a gun
He fired six times and Ken went flat, then they ran over his black top hat
All the ladies sobbed and cried when they heard about how Ken died
"Let's kill those men," one angrily spat, "Kill 'em for Ken and his black top hat!"
Ken always wore a black top hat
And the ladies' guns went rat-a-tat-tat
They killed every man in town, anything male got gunned down
Except for the tailor whose name was Pat, they had him make a black top hat
"What's goin' on?" a voice rang out --- a little louder than a shout
The ladies turned, it was Sheriff Matt. "Is this about Ken and his black top hat?"
Ken always wore a black top hat
But it looks like the ladies have to scat
They took Matt's gun and his badge, then one of the ladies whose name was Madge
Shot him and put him in a vat. "Is the tailor done with the black top hat?"
When he was done, they shot him too then, to Ken's grave, they quickly flew
They shared a prayer, with God they chat, then marked his stone with the black top hat
Ken always wore a black top hat
Up until the end and that's where I'm at
