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At Long Last A Victory
Quest of the brave
a set of instructions
to obey and behave
And be with the champions
Run to the home of Locke ness
Sprint down the crushed rock
Don't slow but be cautious
Emerge self into the Locke
Once in don't stop for cold
Swim the farthest reach of just man
For boats are beyond I'm told
It's so cold not many can
Border on darkness and depth
Emersion with danger
Only to half of strength
You're getting only colder
Back on shore you convalesce
Halfway to dead but conqueror
With friends will acquiesce
Battle won with valor
At Long Last A Victory
I like this one,,for the intricasy of your description in your battle to *submerge* and conquer...if your bio is correct and you are only about 17-18 (don't remember exactly)..then you show an admirable trait in one so younge with that *intricate* ability which you would expect in an older poet..at times your words seem almost as *strained* as the battle,,I don't know if that was intended,,but even if it wasn't it works with this poem...thanks for the read and keep writing, you have the talent....I would enjoy your feedback on my works also...
I want to read your poems!
You have given such good commentary on my poetry. I want to read what you have written. Yes, I turned 17 on october 3rd of this year. I wrote it over the summer. Thanks!
- Zachariah