A Large Vocabulary Doesn't Enable You To Communicate Better

"right, and in the small amount of free time you do have, you spend it with people like whomever you're seeing tonight. you don't flake on them. with me, almost every time. you've gone so far as to never commit to a plan to see me. it always ends up a 'maybe' and of course never happens. i hate you. have fun with this person tonight. obviously you've committed to seeing him/her. a commitment i could only wish for. this person means more to you than i do - this is a surprise to me but at the same time painfully obvious and bland."

things oozy,

stomach woozy,

head aches,

body shakes,

under eyelids pain, throughout and thoroughly laced,

odd poptart out, love a concept human and nature never embraced,

insightful, don delillo - white noise - chapter 37,

hopeless, max polasko - atheist - no heaven,

takes away or gives more eloquence to this being?

my existence like two things perpetually disagreeing,

graying hair like up there it's getting cloudy,

decreased sex drive like the opposite of getting rowdy,

hop through hoops, who's life's script?

whole milkshake intended, even if we only sipped,

true, i aim to break down every defense,

won't use you for all you're worth - less than sixpence,

effort costs more than that,

can get more on ebay for the brown slime i just shat,

none of you worth my time, end up voiding the last oasis,

sex basically the same, i'd rather opt for an intellectual hug and kiss.

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Chris Nash's picture

This one i feel has great flow Max. I really dig this one :)

Another Cynic's picture

i loved that. You really rhymed well and even though i couldnt dig up the sense in some of the lines that was what made it really great. The secrecy, intruige and complications of your code made it really good poetry. Though I couldnt get the same feeling from the beginning paragraph. Othe then that, great stuff.