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Don’t lampoon, uh, a gal from Altoona
There was a full figured gal from Altoona
Who stayed a virgin until her honeymoon, uh
Afterward she said
'Had such fun in bed
I feel bad I didn't wed much sooner!'
Her husband, a piano tuner, felt
She could lose a notch or two on her belt
That remark enflamed her desire
To see him expire
Set him on fire, watched the tuner melt
