I have a friend, a good friend named Dutch
He's an old friend, we like to keep in touch
Called him last week, asked 'How are you Dutch?
What you been up to?' He said 'Nothing much'
I thought for a moment, said 'That can't be true
'Nothing much' is something you cannot do
Nothing is nothing, you know that, I do too
Dutch, how could nothing much be what you're up to?
'This is much ado about nothing' Dutch began to say
I interrupted 'Isn't that a Shakespeare play?
Have much more to tell you Dutch, don't run away'
'Er..can't stay, gotta run, bye, have a good day'