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The Supremes - a closer look
Chief Justice John Roberts has issued his annual year-end report in which he discusses the state of the federal judiciary. I thought this would be a good time to try to get to know all the Justices a little better. As I usually do, I look at their names. Here's what I came up with:
1) JOHN G ROBERTS = O, G. HE STARRN JOB
I guess some might say he's starring in his job as Chief Justice, ok.
2) CLARENCE THOMAS = A, HE NOT C SAME CLR
True, organizations such as the NAACP have criticized Justice Thomas for not seeing things their way.
3) SAMUEL ALITO = U TEL. I'S A LAMO
While I may disagree with his judicial decisions, I admire Justice Alito for being aware of his shortcomings.
4) SONIA SOTOMAYOR = OO, I AM TORN. SAY SO!
I'm not clear here. What's Justice Sotomayor torn about? Roe v Wade? Whatever it is, she's not keeping quiet about it.
5) ELENA KAGAN = KALE AGEN? NA!
Someone who prepares Justice Kagan's meals wants her to eat more healthily. She doesn't seem interested.
6) NEIL M GORSUCH = L! UR CHINES? OMG!
There may be cases coming before the court involving China. We need to find out where his true sympathies lie.
7) BRETT M KAVANAUGH = AM NAUGHT-E. VBRAT K?
I knew he was a perv back when he was nominated. Obviously, he doesn't care who knows it. Shameful.
8) AMY CONEY BARRETT - Y? CAN'T BEAR MOR YET
Justice Barrett has seven children. Looks like her husband wants more. She may also, but not right now.
9) KETANJI BROWN JACKSON = OJ CAN'T WIN. NO BREAKS K?
It's been almost 30 years since OJ Simpson was headline news, yet she's still talking about it. Please stop.
There you have it. A closer look at the men and women who are currently serving as Justices on the Supreme Court.
