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I think I hate you
I think I hate you
I’ve never been so betrayed
I’ve never felt so violated
I’ve never hated anyone but,
I think I hate you
No one ever rushed me into things so fast
Or stressed me to do things deep down I knew I didn’t want to do
No one has ever treated me so bad
I could never be like you
You treated me like shit
& you did a great job of it
You ruined so much for me ever since you came here
I was blind to see for a while
But now I know
It’s clear
You said such horrible things about me
Why would you say those things?
Did you just want to see me hurt?
Did it make you feel good or something?
Well I guess whatever your plan was, it worked
I lost all trust from a friend
Lost trust from close family
I lost the trust I had in myself
I don’t know where you are
And I truly couldn’t care
I’ve never hated anyone before
But you know what I think I hate you
And that is the truth
You walked into my life
& on the way stepped on top of me
I guess I was hard to see or something
I guess you thought I had no feelings
That I was not a person
Because the things you did to me
Normal people just don’t do
And I don’t think you even know
It doesn’t even bother you
I hope you had fun
Using me like a toy
You know you could have called
I don’t think that would have been so hard
It’s not like I was far
You made me feel things that no one has ever made me feel
Not good things
Bad things towards myself
When it took me years to heal
Someone finally helped me on my feet
Without realizing you took that away
And kicked me in the street
& because you two were related
it made things 2 million times more complicated
At least for me it did
I’m going to tell you the truth now
The last few times I was with you I didn’t even want to be there
I don’t know why I did that to myself
It’s like you had no heart
You didn’t even care
I think you are lost
And in ways I feel bad for you
Cause you dont even acknowledge how bad you have made me feel
and thats sad
that you dont understand
I want you to hear this from me
I was never in love with you
Or anything close to it
I need you to know that
I just wanted you to feel that I could care for you & show you compassion from my heart I wanted to be there to comfort you
All I know how to do is show people Love
I guess no one can handle that though
Now I'm starting to think maybe thats my worst feature
You took everything too fast
Making me confused and crazy in result I did things I didn’t really even want to do.
That was the biggest turn off ever
You make me want to puke
I hope you find somone else
And I hope that they love you
and stick by you, too clean up after you when your sick
Even when you treat them bad & act like a dick
I really never asked you for anything
Maybe just a little respect
And thats somthing you never showed me
So now I’m sitting here writing like I do everyday
Trying to tell you try and make you understand
I want to punch you and make you hurt
But being who I am I would never be able to do that
It’s not me I just can’t
I want you to know that I’ve never hated anyone but I think I do hate you
Yes you hurt me really bad
You accused me of being stupid things you knew I wasnt
And it didn’t even phase me not to forgive you at first
Now I sit here way after the fact and realize how stupid I was for going back
I went right back to you even after the hell you put me through
Now I think I’ve lost someone very important to me
And that’s what hurts the worst
So I have to take responsibility for the dumb shit we did first
Because I know you sure as hell won’t
All the tears I cried 90% of them were not for you
They were not for anyone
I cried so much because I knew that I messed up
By ever being with you
Then for continuing to be with you
And because I hurt someone I cared about
until recently I never knew what that felt like
That hurts worse than being hurt ever did
I’m going to try and be strong
Even though I truly wish you had never come along
I will……
Move on.
I've never been strong enough to do this before
But this time I know Ive got to walk away for sure.
I will take it all in and carry this weight upon my shoulders,
And when this whole thing is over
I'll look back and hope your living a good life
Cause I dont ever really want to see you again
But I have to admit I will Always miss my friend
I’ve never hated anyone before
And that’s the truth but you know I think that truly do hate you.
