Drunk Vs Sober

Drunk Vs Sober

By jfarrell

 

 

Let’s start by saying “alcohol reinforces depression”;

I offer no argument;

I’m not a doctor,

I can understand the argument.

 

But,

I was teetotal until 24;

Growing up with my parents,

Staying away from alcohol seemed like a VERY good idea.

 

I was alone when I was teetotal;

I’ve always been alone, as a drunk;

“alcohol reinforces depression”;

Yeah, but I would still be alone.

 

And that’s wot causes the depression.

 

In nine days I will be 50;

My concept of sobriety….

Never drink alcohol again….

…. a new year… a new life…

 

Possibly……?

 

I can’t not drink, ever again;

I prefer being drunk to sober;

My shame, my feelings

Are dulled by alcohol.

 

Cutting down my alcohol…

I have no choice;

Get home midnight with 6 am start…

No time to get smashed..

 

To those suggesting I should… I might….

Sorry…

Maybe not superdrunk forever;

But being sober forever…

Even if I wanted to…

Sorry…

I just don’t see that happening….

 

 

But…

Maybe life does, today, start at 50.

 

And to those that read, and did leave a comment…

Yes,

I will be having a 50th birthday party;

I’m still here, I’m celebrating.

 

Whether loads turn up, or its just me dancing with me my beer…

 

I ain’t gonna know anyone…

New job, new “friends”… “ bring a bottle and a friend….

“no birthday cards or presents…

Just your goodselves, your prefeered drink and a friend…

 

Facing fears, taking risks….

Valuing myself….. still here, at 50….

Will the real jfarrell, please stand up.

Drunk Vs sober…

 

Alcohol is a crutch….

But, I’m still standing…

My crutch may be COSTLY and very ugly…

But, I’, still standing.

 

And having a 50th birthday party…

Thanks for voting…

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

cutting down my drinking, i have no choice - but i can't see me stopping and never drink again, sorry - maybe sometime in the future, but right now, ending this year and starting a new one - just hate being sober too much