Where is my Ass?

Junior Year

Where is my ass, a criminal case

I need to find it with great haste

I was sitting there, warming my cheeks

In an airport, near many possible sneaks

Suddenly I fell, and bruised my bone

My ass was missing, out on a loan

I stood to look and see the thief

The pilfering, insufferable little sief

Women fainted, babies cried

For the man without ass has no pride

Quickly covering my butt with a towel

I went after the crook, I was on the prowl

Through the airport, I searched all around

But the bottom swiper was not to be found

Dejected I returned to where my luggage was bagged

Which while i was gone had also been snagged

My head hung low, weighted with shame

When the excretion urge suddenly came

I ran to the john, but let out a howl

There's no longer an exit to my bowel

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