my life

my life

What do you do If your the odd kid out ?
does anyone ever think of how I feel , all i ever wanted was to be
loved , have freinds , a normal life
but im stuck with a unloveing unsuporting family misurable family
is it to much to ask for someone to say " Im proud of you "
" I love you " " goodjob '
Well those are the things i can't remeber the last time i heard them
Opitions ?
Suicide ?
Suicide ?
suicide ?
Suicide ?

Honestly are the only opitions i see open only if I make people feel
how I feel " mostly family " a straight up hard father
A angry mother that is aghainst the world
a older sister that always feels sorry for herself
a 19 year old sister that got the fuck out and never looked back to help

If I wrote down my thots for a day would people think Im suicidal ?
Maybe
Maybe I am , who cares I'v try getting help from my sister bagged and cryed pleided for help when it never cam
a drunk for a father allways promises something better when it never
comes
a mom that always looks at the glass half emtpy never half full
what should i do ?
Opitions ?
Suicide ?
Suicide ?
Suicide ?
Suicide ?

Maybe , No one cam to help me same shit for 6 or 7 years now
Im just the boy that done wrong never went to school
the Disapointment child the one who never heard " i'm proud of you " in the same sentance
Jst a broken record playing over and over and over again
will it end ?
will I ever be loved ?
Will i ever be happy ?
have a better chance asking a bum for a million bucks
So is this the end ?
or the begining ?
Beat down almost ready to snap falling apart at the seems
One last breathe in me should I get up and try to fight the curant
of depression , hate ,sadness ,lonely endless night ?
or just lay down on the bed of nails the bed of defeat ?
They say get up try again
but when I do im almost out when no one helps me on the last step
of depression and hate they are no weres to be seen wish I had a gun Just to make it quick and easy always wanted to go out with a bang could this be my chance to get out for good just one pull
to end this all
one pull to blow away my problems
or slow deep cuts from my razor let myself bleed out on the kitchen floor
honestly anything would sound good right about now
just to get hit by a car or a semi maybe then my family will pay
attention for atleast 5 minutes before they leave all I ever want
Normal kid , normal friends , normal family but i guess thats the
way my family is unsuporting unloveing angry family
Someday never comes If could feel anything but sadness depression anger what would it feel like ? honestly dont no what it feels to be loved like hell even wanted anymore guess thats what i get when
I ask to be happy ..

The 17 year old that lost the
will to live ..

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SSmoothie's picture

Wow, firstly I am going to

Wow, firstly I am going to slap you... SLAP!!! why you ask? BECAUSE YOU ARENT THERE FOR YOURSELF!!!! you need to learn to accept love in the form it is given not the form you wish it was given. Families is some hard shit! youve got to stop expecting anything from anyone except yourself. people are all damaged some how. You need to see past this homelife. You need to accept it wont change. You CAN change. and when you start planning for opportunities to make the most out of whats available rather than what you've got. I felt this and Im on the other side of the coin thats why I can speak to you like this. I made it my family just are jealous that I beat the odds. So dont look for affirmation where it wont come. find it in yourself. Your emotional scalpel is sharp but your excuses are dull. But now let us concentrate on how well you voiced these concerns and heart breaking issues. FRICKEN EXCELLENT WRITING!!! pulled me right in and enough to give said response ^^ :) so you have a lot going for you. So, with the strength of observation I see in your work It seems you are the one who has to be strong and lend support to your family. someone's got to. Well sorry if I seem rude but it is what it is in my eyes a Fantastic piece that makes me want to reach out and hug you! TIGHT HUGSS :)


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

Snow's picture

Thank you

You really get my point of this poem =]


“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”

ashes_twisted's picture

How does one protect for

How does one protect for which she does not know?
How does one voice her cries of the incredulous hollows?
Your heart seems so scarred,
but dear friend do not lose faith.
Be the pendulum.
Their weight, and anchor.
You a beautiful writer.
God has granted us another poetic mind.
Although you might suffer..
We are here to lift you higher.
Don't succumb to situations that seem inevitable.
Fight your way through, and become stronger.
Brilliant!
Brilliant!
Brilliant!
I see with thine own eyes.
A potential you have I know not wasted.
and if you can't be there for yourself ..
we will be there for you.
Even if we are just words on a screen.
Just know your not the only one feeling blue.
How does one protect for which she does not know?
With words from the heart cascading down like snow.
Gently..
Softly..
With a tenderness ..
We know you have been searching.
Never give up.
Never give in.
Promise me this isn't the end.


"We are, Each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another." -Luciano De Crescenzo

Snow's picture

Wow :0

:0


“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”

SSmoothie's picture

GOSH ASHES!!! YOURE SO SSSSMMMMOOOOTHHH!!!

Listen to ashes! this poet knows her stuff!!!! beautifully said ash. snow and ash... a juxtaposition in terms... interesting!!!


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

Snow's picture

Thanks for the support

I will listen ashes ! juxtaposition ? lul


“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”

SSmoothie's picture

UM, GOOGLE IT? ;) nah here:

Juxtaposition is the placement of two things (usually abstract concepts, though it can refer to physical objects) near each other.

Juxtaposition may refer to:
Random juxtaposition, two random objects moving in parallel, a technique intended to stimulate creativity

hope that helps?


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

Snow's picture

UM , HOLY

Lol you have huge nuggets of wisdom my friend .lol


“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”

ashes_twisted's picture

Hmm..

You may have created something smoothie.
Juxtaposition .. I like that..
Stay in touch Snow.
When today shall end you will be completely enthralled.
^_^


"We are, Each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another." -Luciano De Crescenzo