Early Morning Anticipation


Extreme boredom,

This is what I put myself through –

I know I’m tired,

I’m exhausted.

Sleep would be nice.

So would, however, a visit.

This is why I wait.

Something controls me.

Something can command how I spend my time.

Look at how I spend my time!

My life is lived everyday in anticipation

For one thing.

Not the ultimate “thing”,

That must wait.

I will wait even longer for that.

Not the ultimate “thing”, no,

Just a taste.

The more I get, the closer I get

To the state I wish I could be in.

How much longer will I stay up?

I would wait until the morning, even.

Some might think I’m crazy.

I know one friend does.

He doesn’t know how this is affecting me, though,

He doesn’t know what it’s like.

At second thought, maybe he does.

I’m sure he has been in this situation,

But I doubt he sees this as the same thing.

It’s not as important to him.

It’s not serious.

I know when I’m serious.

Right now, I’m seriously wanting something,

But of course, I have to wait.

How many times has this happened before?

Why not end it?

Why not just say, “nothing will happen,

I should just sleep

And forget about the whole thing, as well.”?

Even if I could, I wouldn’t.

Give up this fight?

I won’t.

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