strange sensations

but all seem so dead

thoughts of confusions

thoughts that I dread

lonely days

lonelier nights

turning on my lamp

blinded by the lights

reading my poems

reading her notes

wondering what she was feeling

when she thought what she wrote

clock says 5:40

another night with no sleep

but I still drift off

in darkness so deep

dreams come and go

but this one returns

that night was so beautiful

though the regrets still burn

thoughts of regret

then regretting those thoughts

fighting back the tears

which I already fought

clock says 7:20

an hour of rest

look in the mirror

not looking my best

put on some clothes

and go for a jog

eyes start to water

thoughts start to fog

fall to my knees

more tears in my eyes

wonder if they'll  

ever have the chance to dry

get back on my feat

legs to weak to even move

but I still keep on

wondering what I’m trying to prove

end up back home

where no one can here me scream

where I lay awake during the night

where I lost my privilege to dream

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