how i feel

I live a life no one understands

A hard one I took in my own hands

Where I care for my kids and love my man

And everything is supposed to go as planned

All is intact happy and well adjusted

Til my world swelled up, then cracked and busted

My treasures taken away and my life damaged

Judged constantly on how I handle it

By eyes that have no reference point

That never felt a loss so deep in their loins

Yet find a way to dictate the way I should heal

When they can’t deal with a pain this real

trying to give me comfort without the thought

of just how they would be if they felt this distraught

call me a quitter, loser, crutch seeker

when in my shoes even they say they’d be weaker

fear resounding chaos and strife

living with the shock of day to day life

ridiculous difference minus my babies

thinking of joining them someday maybe

to feel them in dreams that become so real

a life that surely ended when the caskets were sealed

begin anew so they say

cuz you can’t bring back yesterday

lost in life, lost to death

muster all I got to take another breath

to see them here smiling and happy

jokes so silly all knees we’re  slapping

my only wish now and forever

is to fix this life and make it better

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Kris Grula's picture

bang! i read this with internal snarl; right from the outset, this was seething glorious. Excellent.