Overdose

I open the bottle

And stare at the contents

100 brightly colored pink tablets

To cure my 100 problems

Though some are trivial

They are all problems

First I have a father that doesn’t care

He doesn’t even realize that he hurts me

Then I have a mom that tries

But doesn’t realize she hurts me too

I am never going to make it in their eyes

They will never approve of the life I lead

Nor do they understand it

I strive daily for other’s approval

Will anyone ever approve of me?

Or am I going to just scare everyone off?

I stare into the bottle again

I tune everything out

All the noises of the world

The blaring music of my stereo

Becomes a silent buzz

I just sit on my bed crying

I could quickly swallow the contents

And make all the pain go away

But what would that solve?

I already feel like I am on the edge

The edge of nothing

And actually 6 feet down is not that far

I just wish someone would come

And wrap their arms around me

And consume me with their love

But it doesn’t matter anymore

So here it goes

1, 2, 3, 4

Each one slides down with no trouble

5, 6, 7, 8

This is not enough for me

I go to the cupboard

And grab all in sight

Not reading labels

I just start swallowing

By the handfuls

Wishing there was a quicker way

For them to take action

I lay down on the bathroom floor

The cold tile feels good

Then all of a sudden I feel it

The pain comes from in my stomach

And slowly creeps through my body

I know I am going to be sick

But I am too weak to move

I roll over, and pull myself up

I sit there getting sick

For what seems like hours

Then I begin to cry

I have failed

I take the rest of the pills

And fall asleep on the floor

Next thing I know

I hear voices

But I can’t open my eyes

I try to scream

But my lips don’t move

Actually nothing is moving

“Omigosh, she’s not breathing”

“Take a pulse”

But it is too late

I am gone now

There is nothing that can be done now

I regret my actions

But I have pushed to hard

And can’t go back

Good bye

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