...Without the other.

My friend once asked me,

"is it possible
to kill yourself

without killing yourself?"
and I found the thought absurd.

Why would you want
to put yourself
through that kind of hurt

I got concerned
wondering why someone
would want that pain.
But slowly their question
bubbled away
into the dark crevasses of my brain.

A few days later
I met you
and we talked without words
and the attention I got
was enough from you.
That it played my emotions
like the keys of a piano
and I would play a merry tune.

And it took time
but I started to realise
that maybe the way
your emotions played mine
may have meaning
and I found myself
on the edge of the pool.
Wondering whether I should attempt to swim.

Yet the water chose for me
and I found myself,
drowning in an emotion
that I have heard be called love
and I found I didn’t want to be saved.

But then I was told
about how you loved someone else
and my high crashed down
and I was pulled out the water
and my tune turned sour
and I remembered a question
my friend once asked.

Well now I can say
I finally learnt how
to kill myself 
without killing myself
and it was through something as simple
as loving someone 
who loved someone else.

View s.x.k's Full Portfolio
Morningglory's picture


Oh, unrequitted love. That's the worst feeling in the world. Hard on both people too. 

Copyright © morningglory