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There was a king whose name was Rex

Who substituted cigarettes for sex

The only attention he could get

Was from a smoking cigarette

He worked hard all his life

As was expected from his wife

But the only thanks that he could get

Was from his friendly cigarette

Whose smoke curled into the air

And never judged or cried "unfair"

His kids would go outside and play

And his wife would go to work all day

He went to school and tried to write

And often stayed awake at night

For all his efforts at success

He felt his life was still a mess

All his efforts to fit a mold

Only made the great king old

The only success that he could get

Was finishing a cigarette

Sex no longer interested his wife

His kids were busy with their life

She would come home and watch TV

And sleep on the couch 'til two or three

How lonely the great king would get

So he would smoke a cigarette

Even the dog in this king's life

Got more attention from his wife

The kids would go and play outside

No one cared if he lived or died

After twenty years of abstinence

To smoke again just made good sense

After all if no one really cared

About how well the great king fared

If some of his problems to forget

The king lit up a cigarette

So from then on with every breath

The great king smoked himself to death

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written by Robert W. "DJ" Cameron on Tuesday, 30 June, 1992 - feelin' low. "Rebuttal" in Family & Others was my wife's response.

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