a doldrum sea

Folder: 
2025

 

A Doldrum Sea


The fountain folds into itself,
water chasing water
like a thought that refuses
to finish.

 

In the courtyard,
two friends rehearse a photograph
they will not take today.
Their laughter
is a low tide —
it comes,
it goes,
it comes again.

 

The paving stones remember
every step,
but never tell the story.
Shadows drift across them
like ships without sails,
anchored in the same
grey hour.

 

Somewhere beyond the walls,
the wind has forgotten
how to change direction.
It leans against the gate,
breathing the same breath
over and over.

 

And I,
standing at the edge,
count the circles
until I lose
the will to count.

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

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karlmcallister's picture

Nice!

Something very daoist about this poem. Calm, magisterial, so intimately bound up with the details of life and yet so unmoved by them.

 

Beautiful snapshots of life!

 

Peace!

redbrick's picture

Thanks so much for this

Thanks so much for this generous response. I really like that you saw a Daoist quality in the poem; that sense of stillness and repetition was exactly what I hoped to capture, where the ordinary details of life feel both weighty and strangely calming. Your phrase “beautiful snapshots of life” really resonates with me, since I wanted each image to stand on its own but also flow together into a quiet whole. I’m glad that came through for you.


here is poetry that doesn't always conform

galateus, arkayye, arqios,arquious, crypticbard, excalibard, wordweaver

S74rw4rd-13d's picture

I really like this poem,

I really like this poem, especially the first stanza.


Starward-Led [in Chrismation, Januarius]

redbrick's picture

Ah, this is a very useful

Ah, this is a very useful response and has pointed me to an opportunity to improve on the remainder of the poem and subsequently future authoring and editing. Most grateful, here.


here is poetry that doesn't always conform

galateus, arkayye, arqios,arquious, crypticbard, excalibard, wordweaver

S74rw4rd-13d's picture

The simile between water and

The simile between water and thought is made very beautiful by your amazing use of language.


Starward-Led [in Chrismation, Januarius]

redbrick's picture

Thank you J-Called/Januarius.

Thank you J-Called/Januarius. We'll be working on and improving simileSmile


here is poetry that doesn't always conform

galateus, arkayye, arqios,arquious, crypticbard, excalibard, wordweaver

S74rw4rd-13d's picture

That simile is so perfect (it

That simile is so perfect (it continues to linger in my mind) that it needs no adjustment at all.


Starward-Led [in Chrismation, Januarius]

Pungus's picture

And making some cold-hard

And making some cold-hard cash while we're at it ;)


peace, pot, tequila shot

Jesus loves us, stoned or not

redbrick's picture

Hence the phenomenon called:

Hence the phenomenon called: dayjob Yell


here is poetry that doesn't always conform

galateus, arkayye, arqios,arquious, crypticbard, excalibard, wordweaver