Nutcracker

When I asked a man with a nutcracker to crack my nuts, he misunderstood what I said.
That dumbass kicked me in my crotch and when I recover, he's as good as dead.
When I get riled, I'm like a time bomb that's ticking.
Anybody who kicks a man in the balls deserves an ass kicking.
That moron just walked through the door but he's crawling as he's leavin'.
I shot him in the nuts with my slingshot and now that S.O.B. and I are even.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a fictional poem but would be painful if it was real.

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