When I need you


Lived my life alone,
always traded one mask for another.

Reach for someone,
only to touch nothing,
never there, I didn't need them anyway.

When I broke, when I lost it all,
shattered and destroyed,
you weren't there, only a ghost in my mind,
an illusion that won't see who I've become.

Gave up on love, let that fire die,
you watched me with sad eyes,
tattered white flag blew in the breeze.

You taught me to trust,
to let those walls down,
let my tears fall, to sing without a sound.

You were my rock,
my shelter and friend,
my peace and comfort,
what I needed most,
what I never wanted.

Here one day, gone the next,
left a hole in my heart and a void in my soul.

I walk in the land of twilight,
straddle good and evil,
shadows and nightmares.

You taught me balance,
that each barrier isn't as strong,
as high or unbreakable as I believed them to be.

I look to the sky, calling for angels,
lost brothers and sisters who have fallen from grace,
guide me to your graves, I feel you.

Always pushing away,
determinedly fighting their sight,
they see what you did,
what I never will.

I sing loud enough for you,
hoping you're listening,
I can't tell sometimes, are you near,
with me when I need you?

Fight the dark, block out the fears,
hide my eyes and dry my tears,
can't trust like I should,
like you taught me to.

Wish sometimes I could be free,
be with you, but you've gone.

Why did you leave me here alone in the dark,
why aren't you here when I still need you?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

D/T: Chris R.I.P.

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sanctus's picture

good poem!

good poem!