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THIS THING I DID...
Like a truck through a playground,
I drove til I couldn't anymore.
I stood in the aftermath feeling
incredulous at what had just transpired.
No words were really sufficient except
those I delivered with cold efficacy.
All the while realizing that, in truth,
this would not have been so easy to do
had I the burden of looking in her tearful
eyes and openning my eyes wide enough to,
see the hurt I just placed there like the
unexpected shock of finding your nose bloody.
Loving words and reasoning logic and tearful
pleading as the hurt bursts forth to find
some purchase atop a rock to set itself as
if to do so would make the pain less so.
Unfortunately, there is no pain like that
of heartbreak and it is searing and intense.
That's what I did today.
I broke someone's heart and I did so with a
certain efficiency that is, by all reason,
unreasonable...and yet, the truth of it is
there is absolutely no easy way to end things.
As I said this is...absolute. So what
is it that makes this a well that I have
visited so often that I no longer partake
of the cool water that exists there?
You see, this is how I capped the tasks I
needed to accomplish today...
I hurt someone who has already dealt with
more hurt than anyone should in a lifetime.
Where is the calm after this storm, I wonder?
I mean, once you do something that seems right,
it should bring peace to the soul and I find
none. Perhaps this is the universe balancing.
What I do, or do not, feel is the price for the
choice that needed to be made for the better.
And sometimes, it takes pain to employ the
courage it takes to make a situation steady.
This, whether you want to take the action,
or not. I didn't want to do this today.
But It became necessary and had to happen in
order to ensure that we both could see with
greater clarity. And it will be clearer someday.
Even if it isn't evident to her right this
minute...at least that's my hope.
I hurt someone I didn't want to. And even if it
was for the future good, doing so broke two hearts.
This is the thing I did today.
