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INT – PANCAKE HUT, TABLE SIXTEEN – NIGHT

JEFF is back at table sixteen. His pen is on a short vacation while he explains the complexities of his relationship with THERESA to SARAH and EVETTE 

JEFF

Theresa said I didn't ‘love her right’ …although I never loved anyone more, I just didn't love her correctly. 

EVETTE

What did she mean by incorrectly? 

JEFF

Well, Theresa also suffered from depression.

SARAH

Also? You mean you did too?

JEFF

Actually in her case it was manic-depression. But I didn’t know that.

SARAH

My grandpa has that CD.

JEFF

Jimi Hendrix.

EVETTE

(confused)

What?

JEFF

‘Manic Depression.’  It’s a Jimi Hendrix song from 1967-The CD Sarah’s grandpa has. 

EVETTE

(still confused)

Oh-kay? 

JEFF

Never mind that… I hated talking with Theresa on the phone because most of the time it was like I was the only one talking.

(awkward pause)

I’d talk for a while, ya know, hoping for a response…

(awkward pause)

You know, like ‘mmm-mmm’ or ‘uh-huh’ …but nothing!

(awkward pause)

Sometimes when we were on the phone I actually wondered if she’d fallen asleep!

(awkward pause)

When I told her ‘I’d better be going’, she’d cry ‘No, keep talking; I just need to hear your voice’!  

JEFF pauses once again and looks towards both of the girls. 

EVETTE and SARAH give blank stares.

JEFF (CONT’D)

It was nice to feel wanted but it was also really frustrating.

EVETTE

(finally nodding)

Uh-huh…you mean like that…what I just did when you paused?  

JEFF

Yeah, like that!  Exactly.  How refreshing! About the only thing these long monologues did was help build my vocabulary!

EVETTE

See!  There’s always a silver lining…

SARAH

Under every rainbow!

JEFF smiles, then continues in a more serious tone.

JEFF

I mean I knew she was depressed but we really never discussed it.  And then, one day right before my birthday, she called me up and was more talkative than ever.  It was great!  I said ‘boy, you sure are acting manic.’  All of a sudden: Boom! That was it.  To her, pulling the actual word ‘manic’ out of my vocabulary bag was tantamount to calling someone with Down syndrome a ‘retard.’  She broke up with me on the spot. 

EVETTE

Over the phone?

JEFF

Yep.

SARAH and EVETTE

(in unison)

Nooooo!

JEFF

And on my birthday!

SARAH and EVETTE

(in unison)

Nooooo!

SARAH

Because she had Down’s syndrome? 

JEFF

No, no, I just used the word manic!  The only explanation she could give me was that I couldn’t love her correctly.

SARAH

How sad. 

EVETTE

When did this happen?

JEFF

March of ninety-seven.

SARAH

Wow, I was only fourteen years old!

JEFF

She married this Mexican guy named Javier three months later.  He hardly speaks any English. 

EVETTE

Well he won’t call her manic.  ‘Histerico’ maybe.