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INT – POWER RECORDS SINGLES SECTION - DAY

 

TITLE: POWER RECORDS.  Tuesday, August 8, 2000.  12:53pm

 

Meredith Brooks’ ‘Bitch’ plays overhead. 

 

JEFF is dressed once again, in jeans and an un-tucked short-sleeved button-up shirt and filing CDs from a cart.  

 

JASON is one row behind him.

JEFF (V.O.)

I like my job.  I never have to dress any dressier than this.  I hung up my Stetson when Theresa broke up with me.  Then they started closing all the cowboy dance clubs.  I packed on seventy-five pounds and began practicing the shaved head and goatee look.  People often say I resemble a professional wrestler.  One time this guy at a carnival told me I looked like Peter Grant, the manager for Led Zeppelin.  I’ve been compared to every hefty guy on late night television at one time or another:  Chris Farley, John Candy, Will Sasso…even Randy Quaid when he started putting on the pounds, but I don’t think I look like any of these people!  

 

An orange and yellow name tag laminate hangs around JEFF’S neck displaying his name and the words ‘May I Help You?’  

 

JEFF (V.O.)(CONT’D)

I am the only employee that doesn’t cover up those words with rock band stickers.  Today, like every other day, I’m filing CD singles from a cart.  This is what I do.  I am the Singles Buyer for the Portland Oregon store.  My section is in the top five in the chain even though the overall store scores somewhere near the bottom.

 

JASON is one row away wearing a Pearl Jam T-shirt and flipping through already-filed CDs.

 

JEFF (V.O) (CONT’D)

Jason’s a part-timer wading his way through community college at Mt. Hood.  I don’t mind most of my colleagues; I just wish they’d work a little harder.

 

INT – DICK WILLIAMS OFFICE/TO SALES FLOOR- DAY

 

DICK WILLIAMS, Jeff’s diminutive fifty-six-year-old alcoholic boss gets up from his desk, sets a bottle into his drawer and walks out onto the floor.

JEFF (V.O.)

I don’t like him at all.  This asshole is where he is simply because he drinks!  He knows crap about music, and he knows even less about managing.  Back in the late sixties, when Power Records had like two or three stores, he drank and did drugs with the original crew, which included soon-to-be-millionaire owner Saul Russell.  Russell subsequently gave Dick his own store.  The drugs dried up after Billboard Magazine implemented Soundscan—you see, it was much easier for a record rep to bribe a bumbling buyer with barbiturates than to convince a computerized cash register to position Pink Floyd in the top forty—but Dick’s drinking continued.  It’s cheaper than drugs…and legal. 

 

DICK WILLIAMS approaches JEFF.

 

DICK WILLIAMS

Jeff, you know you have to make separate dividers for artists with more than five titles, and you really should have a separate section for the imports too. 

 

JEFF sets down a stack of N’Sync CD singles

 

JEFF

(confused)

But I thought you said we needed to carry more titles? 

 

DICK WILLIAMS

(also confused)

Yeah? 

 

JEFF

Well, if I make extra title cards for every artist with five or more titles and split up artists into import and domestic sections, I am making twice as many divider cards.  How can I increase my inventory when the divider cards are taking up all that space?  Besides, why should my customers have to look in two different places for their music?

DICK WILLIAMS

Sometimes you just have to look at the big picture.  

 

JEFF

Huh? 

 

DICK WILLIAMS shakes his head and walks away, muttering.

 

DICK WILLIAMS

Why is it so hard to communicate with you?

 

JEFF looks to JASON, one row away.

 

JEFF

I've been working here for over thirteen years. I think I know how to run my section. 

 

JASON

Well, he is the boss. 

 

JEFF

He’s just an asshole. 

 

INT – POWER RECORDS - DAY

 

SALES COUNTER

 

IVY and NANCY slowly and nonchalantly ring up a line of four customers at the front counter

JEFF (V.O.)

Ivy and Nancy are two teenage mutant Power Records cashiers who for some reason are nestled next to each other at a single cash register.  This is Nancy’s particular shift but for some reason Ivy feels she needs to assist her.  Nancy is a charcoal-haired and lethargic Goth who dresses in tapestries of darkness.  Ivy is her hyperactive cohort, sporting pink-streaked blonde hair, orange eye shadow and crimson lipstick chaotically applied with obvious coaching from the Cure’s Robert Smith.  Both girls display visible body jewelry and have identical butterfly tattoos on their lower backs.  Why are they so awkwardly close to each other at a single register?  Argh, during the two weeks leading up to Christmas, we sometimes employ this strategy, but this practice of two at a till seems embarrassingly ridiculous in mid-August.

The next customer, PETE, hands IVY his Eiffel 65 CD.

 

PETE

Is this on sale?

 

IVY cocks her head, rolls her eyes, opens her mouth as if to say ‘oh puh-leese’ then passes the CD to NANCY.  

 

NANCY holds the CD for a second and then turns to IVY.

 

NANCY

Is that really the right price? 

 

IVY smacks her chewing gum.

 

IVY

Ring it up and see.

 

NANCY rings it up and then cashes out the sale.  The cash drawer opens briefly then she quickly closes it. 

 

NANCY

Yes it is.  

NANCY hands the CD back to IVY.

 

NANCY (CONT’D)

Thirteen-Ninety-Nine

 

IVY hands the CD back to PETE while twirling her gum on the end of her finger. 

 

PETE tosses the CD back to IVY like a hot potato.

 

PETE

Thanks, I can still get it for three dollars less at Best Buy though.

 

IVY hands the CD to NANCY.

 

NANCY picks up the phone to make a page.

 

NANCY 

Jeff to the CD counter!

 

SALES FLOOR

 

NANCY (O.C.)

Jeff to the CD counter!

 

JEFF makes his way through a maze of confused customers, plastic action figures and a life-size Ricky Martin display.  

 

The LINE OF CUSTOMERS is now ten customers long and shows looks of frustration, but no one says a word.  

 

SALES COUNTER

 

NANCY, still looking down, is motionless when JEFF finally arrives at the cash register.

 

JEFF

What's up?

 

NANCY

(speaking softly)

I have a void. 

JEFF

Oh, what happened?

 

NANCY

I was checking to see if this was on sale for a customer…

(voice trailing off)

…and he didn't want it. 

 

JEFF

What?  I can barely hear you.

 

NANCY

I was checking to see if this was on sale…

 (screaming angrily)

…and he didn’t want it!!

 

JEFF

All you have to do is hit F2 and it will erase it from the screen. You don't have to go through with the sale. 

 

NANCY

(still screaming)

Well, I cashed it out and you need to void it! 

 

JEFF shakes his head.

 

JEFF

Please don't do that any more. 

 

NANCY begins scowling.

 

NANCY

Ivy, watch my till…

 

JEFF

Did I say you could take a break? 

 

NANCY ignores JEFF and plods off to DICK WILLIAMS’ office with Frankensteinian strides

SALES FLOOR

 

JEFF shakes his head and makes his way back towards the CD singles section popping Ricky Martin a left jab in the mouth.  Ricky, smiling big as ever, doesn’t even a blink.  

 

JEFF (V.O.)

Livin’ La Vida Loca is right!

 

DICK WILLIAM’S OFFICE

 

NANCY is in the doorway of DICK WILLIAMS’ office.

 

DICK WILLIAMS is at his desk.

 

NANCY

He yelled at me! He thinks everything I do is wrong! And he's always criticizing me! 

 

DICK WILLIAMS

Don’t worry Nance, I’ll have a little talk with him.

 

DICK WILLIAMS picks up the paging telephone.

 

DICK WILLIAMS (CONT’D)

Jeff to my office please…

 

SALES FLOOR

 

JEFF is nearing the other end of the store as Dick’s voice bellows over the paging system:

 

DICK WILLIAMS (O.C../INTERCOM)

…Jeff to my office!

 

JEFF pirouettes, hangs his head and heads toward the back room.

 

PETE is still mingling the store and motions to him as he passes.

PETE

Hey big guy, which Pogues CD do you think is their best?

 

JEFF (V.O.)

I know he knows my name.  For Christ’s sake, I know his name!  I’m the only employee who consistently wears my name tag and yet Pete still wants to call me ‘big guy’.

JEFF (CONT’D)

(abruptly)

The rum and sodomy one.

 

PETE gives an inquisitive look.

 

PETE

Rape and sodomy? 

 

DICK WILLIAMS’ OFFICE

 

JEFF arrives in Dick’s office

 

JEFF (V.O.)

God, Nancy’s patchouli stench is still in the air.  It’s even drowning out Dick’s alcohol breath.

 

DICK WILLIAMS

Sit down Jeff.  Shut the door.

 

JEFF

Okay.

 

DICK WILLIAMS

Your attitude needs to change …and fast!

 

JEFF

Okay—?

 

DICK WILLIAMS

Nancy says you’re too abrasive …and I’ve noticed it too.

JEFF

Abrasive?

JEFF (V.O.)(CONT’D)

This coming from a man who makes Tom Waits sound like Ella Fitzgerald. 

 

DICK WILLIAMS

Plus you need to keep your sexual views to yourself. 

 

JEFF

Sexual views?

 

DICK WILLIAMS

You know exactly what I’m talking about!  I’ve had more than a few complaints about you bringing your affinity for little girls to work with you…

 

JEFF

What?!

 

DICK WILLIAMS

The Britney Spears jokes. They’re not funny anymore.

 

JEFF

Britney Spears jokes?

 

DICK WILLIAMS

You know exactly what I’m talking about.

 

JEFF (V.O.)

Okay, so a few years ago, I ordered a shit-load of her debut single because she looked cute on the promo sheet.  Everyone made fun of me for ordering so many.  They figured I ordered them because she looked good.

JEFF (CONT’D)

So what?  She’s cute!  Besides, I’m not the one making the jokes.

JEFF (V.O.)(CONT’D)

And what they often forget to add is that all 300 copies sold!

DICK WILLIAMS

(barking)

They’re inappropriate!

 

JEFF

I agree! Why am I getting in trouble for other people making jokes?

 

DICK WILLIAMS

Because you started them.

 

JEFF

Because I think Britney Spears is hot?

 

DICK WILLIAMS

What is she, like seventeen? You're twice her age! You should be ashamed of yourself!

 

JEFF

Ah, she’s nearly nineteen!  Besides, I could be five times her age and she’d still be hot!

 

DICK WILLIAMS

So the jokes have been going on now for the last two years?

 

JEFF

I never said that!

 

DICK WILLIAMS

Enough—cool it!  I want those divider cards made by the end of the week— the Regional Managers are coming in on the 22nd

 

JEFF (V.O.)

Dick is good at ending conversations on his terms, without coming to any resolution.

JEFF (CONT’D)

Okay.

 

JEFF gets up, turns, shakes his head and heads back to the sales floor.