How My Brain Works (Or Doesn't Work)

by Jeph Johnson


Unintentional Gaslighting

I go through life with the attitude of thinking I'm right (until proven wrong). This generally isn't problematic until it conflicts with someone's opposing belief or way of doing something. Quite often, I simply let it go or shrug my shoulders. But other times the issue becomes a little more pressing and needs resolution.


When approaching the issue of conflict, I suppose I refuse to "let it go" more frequently than other people, and certainly more frequently than former partners of mine, so if you disagree with me and you're timid with your rebuttal, don't have good reasons for your opinions or are just plain introverted, the result will be suppressed communicative discourse between us, despite my most overt efforts at effective communication.


I'm always happy in my relationships, or else it quickly becomes not a relationship!


I have actually been told my more than one former lover that the problem with my communication style is that I make everything seem so logical.


Because my brain works so quickly doesn't mean it's working effectively. This manifests itself positively as a quick-wittedness, but negatively it means I demand your opinion so strongly that it can paralyze and stifle people into shutting down and not communicating.


My counter ruling opinion reads like a "statement of fact" to a person's half-hearted or missing response and certainly can appear as a form of Gaslight ing, so be forewarned! 


But gaslighting isn't necessarily wrong, it's just a character trait (flaw?) I must live with. I believe it's only wrong if done intentionally with malicious intent, but only you can be the judge of that.


My intentions are never to misrepresent something I feel is true. Indeed I am the one who feels like I'm being "gaslighted" or going crazy at times! Especially now in Trump's America! 


Contrary to popular belief, I can and do feel empathy. I do NOT label myself an empath however, because I tend to have the gift (or curse?) of being able to filter my empathy through my thoughts first.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2016, 2017 

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