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by Jeph Johnson

Why does it take almost half a year to get in to see a psychiatrist?

Funny how one of the huge concerns the Conservatives had during the health care debate was that if socialized medicine were instigated, it would take a long time to see a doctor. They said transitioning from the current system of just the privileged get health insurance to socialized medicine for everyone would cause "long lines at the doctor."

Let me share with you a little secret: a two hour actual line trumps waiting in a six month virtual line.

Now we get to wait as well as pay out the ass for health insurance.

Great job, health care system! And what do the Democrats do to appease these Republicans and Libertarians? They're now requiring people to get insurance. Huh? So you're saying people who can't afford insurance are now going to be financially penalized if they don't get it? That makes no sense.

These same Conservatives bitch about how our tax money is misspent, yet when Socialists suggest utilizing it for something as important as health care, they're against it!

Fuck that!

Skip ahead six months. Once inside the psychiatrist's office, I'm finally scooted through in a half hour appointment focused not on my issues, but instead on prescribing the drugs they want me to try. Why is this? Perhaps because drug companies have money and want more monry? Just a thought. I could be wrong. But I'm probably not.

I encountered this same strong-armed tactic from the makers of the C-pap night time breathing machine when first diagnosed with sleep apnea. They had me try the C-pap and it was a miserable failure. It dried out my sinuses the few nights I was able to keep it on all night. Generally I cast it aside in my sleep.

"Well if you can't use a C-pap, the next option is surgery," I was told by my doctor. Thank goodness I got a second opinion and was fitted with a mouth guard which has helped my apnea immensely. But this only happened because I went outside my health care provider to do it.

As for the anxiety and depression, I have found enlisting a counselor, life coach, mentor or even a trusted friend works better. But my medical insurance does not cover them. I am not knocking medications, but shit, they don't directly address the problems, they only mask them.

Don't get me started on how the drug many people cite as helping (marijuana) is not only unutilized, it's illegal! Some doctors even consider it a "disorder" if one uses it!

Also, why is health insurance separate from optical and dental insurance?

So what, now my eyes and teeth need special insurance too?

The next thing ya know we'll have to get insurance for specific body parts like toenails and elbows. Spleen insurance, anyone? You're approaching 50, you better pick up some prostate insurance!

Once again, fuck that!!

Oh and then there are my prescriptions. They won't cover my Viagra. Oh they'll prescribe it, but it's priced way outside of my budget. $15 a pill? Yeah right. I may as well pay a fluffer to stroke me for three hours before engaging in coitus with my sweetheart!

So I've waited six months to see a psychiatrist about my depression and anxiety. Meanwhile there have been so many times those very ailments would have been alleviated or even eliminated HAD MY COCK WORKED!

Instead these brilliant psychiatrists attempt to put me on pills that lower my libido and have the side effect of, you guessed it: erectile dysfunction! 

Fuck that!

Oh wait, I can't. My cock won't get hard.