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4/4/02



As I lay on my bed

Crazy Town's Lollipop Porn

Echoing around me

I watch myself bringing

Thin wire down at lighting speed

Against the flesh of my bare

Skin

I've already sliced my arm more than

A dozen times today

And it's for Hell going to scar

My skin jumps up to greet the metal and

Long sobs echo through my throat

With every second the contact shoots

Pain through my numb body I cry out

Your name

It's in the way I often call to God in

My tone of voice is screaming

"Come, Come save me!"

"Help me! God I'm Sorry!"

And it's all wrapped up into a deadly

Scream of your name

Constantly off the tip of my tongue

I know my mother must be able to hear

My groans and cries of agony

Even over the blaring music

But She mustn't care

That's just the way she is

I try to read Jewel Kilcher's poetry

But my whimpers and ecstatic screams

Of your name rumbling though my throat

Continue to disturb it

My voice is saying

"Please, Please save me"

You're the only one,

To save me from myself!

And I cry

My eyes unfocussed and almost to a grey tint

I wish you were here comforting me

Though I know you never will be

You'll never hear my cries

Or words of Love

You'll never know I love you

When I say goodbye tonight