6 days in
and I find myself left alone for hours
what for
to walk the prostitute streets
and talk to strange foreingers
I don't get the appeal
maybe he will explain
in the wee hours of this morning
when he manages to drag himself
back to our room
men are men
give them the time of their lives
and show them you love them beyond measure
and all you get is them wondering off away from you
for no real good reason
no golden rule here has been observed
by him
he just forgot about me in his pursuit of a
so called walk up and down this street to help
digest his food
maybe he is giving me a hint he wants me to leave sooner
than planned
I will have to ask him
abandonment is an awful feeling
over 6 years he waited for this time with me
and I'm speechless tonight as to how he suddenly is behaving
he can't be so dumb that he doesn't realize at 1247 am local time
that his absense is hurting me
it all too quickly feels like the brief honeymoon is over
more nights like this await me i suppose
I wonder if he even remembers Im back at our room alone now
I walked those same streets for a few brief minutes and I couldn't in any
way shape or form find out what the appeal was
it was disgusting and shallow and yet here he is at 1250 am still out among that
padestrian hell
more appealing it is than the thought of going to sleep beside me and getting up
early for a trip he planned for us
I'll close this out and go cry myself to sleep
I hope you had a good time on your lengthy stupid strolll
signed a very hurt M.................

(Oct. 7, 2013 1am Bangkok time)

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written for a once deep love that all too quickly decentigrated before my very eyes.

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