SPOKEN SPEECHES

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JOURNAL # 41

the words

come to me

gutted

bloodied and bruised

being dragged

as they were

all the way through

the battering of my spirit

a dark hollowed path

I find my feet upon

all prior innocence is gone

beaten to date unrecognizable

I am a crop circle unfaked

a tear drop infinitesimal

hearing your voice after so long

pouring its baritone into my soul

rips open old wounds 

afresh

no matter what you say now

there is no way

you can expect me to believe

you truly care all that much

for someone who cares

would not behave as you did

leaveing me to cry night after night

devastated and heartbroken

without even any clear reasoning

attached

alone and wondering why

you abandoned me after such

'Spoken Speeches' that you would not

I have no reprisals just disbelief

that I could love so much a man

whom by his own actions showed me

that he loved and thought of  me so little

in comparison....

(Feb. 28, 2014 857am)

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem came from a very much surprise phone call from a man who decimated my heart. Blessedly, I was smart enough not to answer his call but rather sent it straight to voice mail but he left a message claiming he was concerned about me and wanted to check on me which made me laugh so hard as I'd not heard from him in like 5 plus weeks so he couldn't be all that cocerned about me. Hearing his recorded voice after so long not hearing his voice was the wounds being ripped open afresh comment I made in the poem. Still is so hard. I guess the heart has an endless supply of love/blood/pain to bleed out of it yet. Sighs, well at the very least this poem helped ease all that revisited despair once again.

 

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