KNIVES YET TO SWALLOW

Folder: 
JOURNAL # 40

the mockery
became a derelict
the pommeled parties
gradually tired
from the pollution
of the every day nothingness
ingested
the battle waned
until it was nearly
circumvent
as those regular skirmishes
lost their powers to hurt
a gray truce grew
from the ashes
of what we both knew
could never fully be again
we now stand quite untrue
two bad caricatures of ourselves
going through the motions of
being a once run of the mill couple
and still
as painful as it all has been
I find the self lying I must do
to get through the day
the hardest of
all
'Knives Yet To Swallow'
but I am a woman
whose options are at best
shaky thin
so I navigate these shark
infested waters
by pretending I can swim
my life IS going to change
and for the better
I am determined
therefor, it must be so
but I must concede
in my unexpected low moments
of self doubt
at these incremental rates
it's not going to be for yet
a little while
and so
I keep reminding my fragile
heart of that age old adage
I've heard since I was but a
child
Progress Is Slow
I just never realized it could be
slower than a quadriplegic slug
bogged down in determined
ancient mud
but the optimist in me knows
life works so hard
to reflect back to us
what it is we truly desire
and so to get to that place
I am meant to arrive
I will. even if I have to
carry in my own two hands
the worst of today's
persistent fire.................
(April 12, 2011 103am)

Author's Notes/Comments: 

going through some tough patches and this poem helped iron out the rougher sections. After all what is life without change? Well, changing I am a doing...........that is for sure.................enjoy, I hope this is not too depressing to read.........M.

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