WOUNDED DISBELIEF**

Folder: 
JOURNAL # 37

my sweet Lord
tell me
truly
tell me
please
is there nobody
you've placed upon
this glorious earth
of yours
for me
just me
I am awash in my
'Wounded Disbelief'
how can one man claim
to love me so so much
but wound me so deeply
and still not see
what he's done
but instead
call me silly
am I always to love
blind, obtuse men
who are drawn
to my light
only to put it out again
I stand now before you
a mountain of echoless cries
and tear stained skin
why couldn't you just bring her back
again for him
its what he wants
I'm just a cheap imitation
a knock off he tries to convince
himself he wants
but his actions reveal
his truth time and time again
always reminders of
how so much he loves her
and their undying love for each other
like I'm nothing in those moments
standing before him
he speaks out of both sides of his
heart
he wishes deep down I could
be his one true one
but truly he knows
she is
dead or alive
it will always be her
I'm just an unimportant
afterthought
standing in the way
of the one he really
wishes could always
be near him and stay
he claims she was
where as I am
and yet he brings her forward
from the past
to traipse her about before me
her and her great love she once had
for him
like a slap in my face
to taunt me
and let me know shes the forever one
I'm just her shoddy stand in
in my own heart break
I cry myself to sleep
slaughtered as I am..........................
(Feb. 9, 2010 452am)

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

written for the man who has captured my enchantment and made it his own.

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