swerving at the signs of distance

its the unexpected detours that

pull my heart into a fearful tail spin

does that make me immature

I feel in your eyes

it all too mightily does

and now you are the sage one

and I am the trembling child

seeking your warmth

assurance and guidance

my heart only allows me to

sleep fitfully these days

I love how you do not need

such reassurances from me

I wish from your book

I could not only snatch a page

but read the entire volume

cover to cover

though I quiver in some baffling


I know you know my love and

affection for you is quite real

I lack that feminine ability

to hide

and pretend everything is oh so easy

and casual

though I do try

for your sake

not to let you see that

confusing abyss that sometimes rises

to tackle me

and make me appear a crazy woman

to you

you explain the reasons and they make

pretty good sense

but still there is that part deep down in me

that snickers and bickers

how easy those words are for you to say

but where there is a strong will

there is a more often way

and that is what I hold out for

that you of not so long ago

that would contact me in one way or another

come hell or high water

and in his voice I could hear the longing

to just be for that moment

soft spoken, alone yet tenderly with me

maybe things will improve once your phone

is back from the brink of not working

but note I am missing  that feeling that you are

right there a telephone number away when I need you

and the loss of your voice in my ear is an uglier hell

than I could ever hope to even try to describe to you

so forgive me for my accusatory strangeness

and come back to me like the force that you have been

in these eighteen plus months you have taken up

residence in my life

for I find I miss that dear renter of my heart

more than the world would miss her beloved sunlight

should the universe decide to realign..................................

(June 9, 2009 351am)

Author's Notes/Comments: 

missing someone very dear to me after a misunderstanding of terms
thankfully all hell was averted.............

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