THE SWEETEST REPEATING

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JOURNAL #19

paint happiness for me

as I, right now

so desperately need to see it

what does it look like

why, I'll bet its just lovely to behold

how must it seem

like wind dancing across the fiery colors

of purity's perpetual flame

my own dullness within

alights at the very vision

if God granted me three wishes

this very night

I would ask but for

you and me entwined in the perfect dream

How I so ache to touch you again

to simply feel your nearness ever closer

to my very being

I long for the issue of some recognizable

sign that I shall be with you again soon

in whatever the capacity

but in this millisecond of unguarded grief

I think not just right as of yet

for terrible tears and too inexperienced eyes

would prevent me from truly recognizing you

and that would be such a loss to the both of

us

so walk with me again later

when I have grown enough inside to be worthy

of you

this hurts for me to confess

but I know you understand

just as you always have

hush my sweet lonely love

listen with your very soul

our tomorrow is coming

I can almost hear it

skipping through the clutter of years

just as it has always done

it reunites us

when we each least expect it to

as that was our initial request

so never fear

for we both know

that God always keeps his promises

so

until our next crossing in time

good night my love

oh and thank you God

for letting me express these thoughts

to the two of you

sometimes your too good to even be

believed

I love you so!..................

(Sept. 16, 1998)

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