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THE SEAM BENEATH THE SPLIT
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JOURNAL #9 he lost me from the first day he merely thought
about letting go
so I in turn took a long holiday and when I came back
I had a new lover in tow
temporary relief some would be a little too quick to assume
but love #2 would only be the beginning to my quintessential ruin
actually he was just one of many on a vast trail of
destructive self hate
yet all the while, while submersed in this automatic pilot state
deep down inside I so wanted to run from this repetitive room of misfortunate fate
but I just couldn't find a suitable path that I liked
long enough to escape
what I didn't realize though at the time with the will inside you its never too late
even after a long bout of suffering self inflicted mental rape
so, I've finally come full circle and have arrived back
at my former feeling worthless self where my only
invested vice is my plus poundage in concern to my
weight................
(written Jan. 1,1993 )
