DIGBY PAINTER PRIDE

Folder: 
JOURNAL #6

Digby Painter Pride

in the end paid the ultimate price

by finding out the hard way that the world isn't as

he originally thought it to be

nice

tender hearts do suffer right along side all the other

broken hearts and neglected rest

and that the making of love and life

are human mistakes at best

Digby Painter Pride got so lost in himself

that he could never find a way out long enough

to decide

if behind his very name he should or should not hide

though he possessed a flawless photographic memory

his shyness in front of any form of camera was all

too plain to see

what little he confided in you

he divulged and entrusted fully to me

because he and I never shared a self guarding need

for disparity

everything in regard to our rampage relationship

came natural, easy and free

he was always saying he wanted to be almost like

you yet not quite like me

that's like saying Johnny Appleseed planted

in the hopes of owing each and every tree

he offered you in the end an easy painless out

but you chose not to take it

his life like mine was always his

not what you thought he should make it

like the veiled vision of thunderclouds raining on

the most determined birds

he was looking for a place to belong as he stood

there trying to understand

I can still hear the hollow pride in Digby's parting

words

a vital part of me has fallen behind and recovered

only to die

you could have had anything that was mine

so why didn't you reach for it?

why?

you took a slow and carefully controlled breath

as you spoke your voice was ragged

like the sound of death

Digby, I appreciate the genuine thought

behind the needed to be asked question

but please allow me the curtesy to make one small

needed to be voiced suggestion

but Digby refused at the last minute to listen

he threw his hand up in silence

he wasn't giving you the benefit of the doubt

only to find in your apologetic verse something

crucial missing

instead, he simply walked out under the full force

of your last whimpered plea of "WAIT"

because for wealthy yet poor Digby

your  last ditch effort for understanding

came one mad moment too late..........

( written Feb 25, 1992 am)










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