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DIGBY PAINTER PRIDE
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JOURNAL #6 Digby Painter Pride
in the end paid the ultimate price
by finding out the hard way that the world isn't as
he originally thought it to be
nice
tender hearts do suffer right along side all the other
broken hearts and neglected rest
and that the making of love and life
are human mistakes at best
Digby Painter Pride got so lost in himself
that he could never find a way out long enough
to decide
if behind his very name he should or should not hide
though he possessed a flawless photographic memory
his shyness in front of any form of camera was all
too plain to see
what little he confided in you
he divulged and entrusted fully to me
because he and I never shared a self guarding need
for disparity
everything in regard to our rampage relationship
came natural, easy and free
he was always saying he wanted to be almost like
you yet not quite like me
that's like saying Johnny Appleseed planted
in the hopes of owing each and every tree
he offered you in the end an easy painless out
but you chose not to take it
his life like mine was always his
not what you thought he should make it
like the veiled vision of thunderclouds raining on
the most determined birds
he was looking for a place to belong as he stood
there trying to understand
I can still hear the hollow pride in Digby's parting
words
a vital part of me has fallen behind and recovered
only to die
you could have had anything that was mine
so why didn't you reach for it?
why?
you took a slow and carefully controlled breath
as you spoke your voice was ragged
like the sound of death
Digby, I appreciate the genuine thought
behind the needed to be asked question
but please allow me the curtesy to make one small
needed to be voiced suggestion
but Digby refused at the last minute to listen
he threw his hand up in silence
he wasn't giving you the benefit of the doubt
only to find in your apologetic verse something
crucial missing
instead, he simply walked out under the full force
of your last whimpered plea of "WAIT"
because for wealthy yet poor Digby
your last ditch effort for understanding
came one mad moment too late..........
( written Feb 25, 1992 am)
