history sometimes in its masterful making

works over all against itself

causing much personal pain to suffer in each individual

over past regrets left with which to still be dealt

maybe that is why often when I am alone I sometimes feel

my very soul trapped so cruelly within

feel as if its about to melt

many the time upon the threshold of open forgiveness

I admit I have angrily knelt

in a damning sort of hope that this wanting feeling

that claws at me won't have to in future by others

be felt

wealth found in knowledge for me has always been slow

and lax in its coming

through this life I label 'Continuous Trouble'

I am searchlessly slumming

for my apparent backlash

I will most likely pay a proper, pretty pound of flesh

tragedy through diversion in the form of success,

originality speaking is not all too fresh

perhaps my lingering words are not easily to be


and maybe I shouldn't cut myself up in such fine,

little pieces as has been before suggested

but know that I'll never be whole again

if over myself my reign of terror I have somehow


words like foes can get the best of you if they you

have never even once properly bested

I now call myself off of me for the moment

for this is what my mind has momentarily requested

I slip quickly into a light form of emotional numbness

before conflict has enough time for itself to be

further manifested............

( written Dec 12,1991 am)

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